So today was my first day at work for nearly 9 years. It went well. Very well. It was a little strange to be meeting people who knew my face and my name from a friend’s Facebook page but they were clearly amused by it, which allowed me to smile at what might have been an awkward situation.
It was a long day, certainly but that was more down to the early start insisted on by the agency I went through than the the actual training at work, which was interesting, for the most part and very well delivered.
I’m putting it down to not sleeping well last night, the stress of starting a job (a big, big deal for me, at my age!) and possibly walking home in the pouring rain but I got very emotional when I got back home. I don’t mind admitting to shedding a tear or two. It seemed the most important thing in the world to reassure someone of something that was completely unnecessary. The person in question knows precisely what my position is on the matter in question. I can only assume that it all came from the deep well of insecurity that I’ve built up over the years. It may even have been the last , bitter dregs of that well sputtering out like the flame on a noxious candle (he said, casually mixing his metaphors with a careless toss of his hair toward the gallery). I’ve certainly never felt so secure in my personal relationships and my life in general for…I was going to say 20 years but, to be perfectly honest, I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so secure and happy in personal relationships. In fact I know that I haven’t.
So tomorrow get to go to work again. Is it very strange that I’m excited at the prospect?
3 comments:
I am so pleased that you are enjoyed your first day.
You will be going through a rollercoaster of emotions as it is no easy thing starting again.
Just chill and dont be too hard on yourself.
It's hugely exciting - darling, your life is becoming happily normal!
Good for you. It's a privilege to watch you unfolding.
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