Wanted to tell you…

I don’t want you to think that I’ve forgotten about you all. I’m very excited tonight, though.

I had post waiting for me when I got home from work. It was my first Payslip (not counting emailed slips while working for a temp agency) for 9 years to the month! Appropriately enough, someone picked it up and passed it to me. I say “appropriately enough” as the Payslip is neither the first thing that they’ve picked up off the floor nor the first thing that they’ve given me.

And I have an Electric Blanket so I’m off to bed to be all warm and cosy. Sweet dreams, everyone.

Change Of Plans

I had every intention of blogging something tonight. However since leaving work I have had the most delightful, magical evening that, now I’m home, I intend to go straight to bed and drift off to sleep with a blissed-out, loved-up smile on my face.

So maybe tomorrow…

I Saw A Rainbow

There was a beautiful rainbow outside work this evening. A full arch of glowing colours across the sky. It's no exaggeration to say that it actually stopped me in my tracks as I was walking through reception. If anyone was amused (or outraged) that I walked out of the building to look at it for a while then they didn't mention it.

I think that everyone should take more notice of the beauty around them, whether it's in the ochred gold of Autumn's colours, the defiant piping of the first birdsong of the morning or a pair of shining eyes over a happy smile on a pretty face.

There's so much beauty all around us all the time, if only we stop to see it. It saddens me that people become jaded and tired and never notice the simple things.

Try to look at the world anew every day, to see the wonder in everything that shines or flies or swims or walks.

Never let go of that feeling.

Bullets

It’s wet, wild and windy night in Cork. I can hear the wind howling down the chimney and there are occasional spatters of rain making it down into the grate. The wind is blowing the sheets of rain away from my windows so I didn’t realise how hard it was raining until I just opened the back door to go to the bin. It can wait until tomorrow!

I’m going to do some ironing in a little while and let my mind wander. I may pop back to the laptop and slip a few random thoughts in, then publish the lot before bedtime.

• I think that my kettle boils slower than any other kettle in the world.
• I love having an open fire.
• Rain against the windows when you’re warm and cosy is a wonderful sound.
• I need more pictures in the house.
• I am never going to enjoy ironing.
• I *love* hugs and cuddles, old softie that I am.
• I have a fancy dress costume for the Work do on the 30th and can’t wait! There may even be pictures.
• I need to clean my keyboard.
• I should have emailed my Landlady tonight. Bugger. Tomorrow.
• It’s bedtime. Goodnight. Sweet dreams.

That’s 8 of his 9 lives gone!

"A baby has survived after his pushchair rolled onto the tracks as a train pulled into a station in Melbourne, Australia.

The train had slowed right down as it pulled into the station and the six-month-old baby suffered only a bump to his head."

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Baby survives after being run over by train

This is unbelievable! I can still barely bear to watch the footage but thank God this little guy was okay. It’s quite a story to tell his grandchildren I suppose…

Hmmm…..

So as I’m in training for a few weeks as of tomorrow morning, I should probably be in bed already. I’ve been strangely restless all day, though. Yes, I laid quite late this morning and then nearly dozed off in the armchair late this afternoon but apart from that I’ve had this “creeping anxiety” thing going on.

Not about anything that I can put my finger on, just a vague sense of unease. I don’t like it.

I guess I could write it off as my subconscious getting nervous about the new job but I’m not inclined to do so. You girls don’t have the monopoly on intuition, you know! I think for the next couple of days, at least, I shall keep my eyes and ears open, take care on stairs and when crossing the road and generally keep my sword loose in it’s scabbard. Just in case, y’know?

I have a new coffee table. This is a good thing. It was cheap in Argos but it’s quite nice, sturdy and certainly better to sit my laptop on than a chair. I’ve also got the curtains that I wanted for the alcove in the bedroom. They actually look a little plain now I see them. Tie-dye, maybe. I’ve got a few days to think about it as I didn’t think to buy an electrical extension cable and of course the power lead on my drill doesn’t quite reach the wall.

Okay, this is silly. Bedtime. If I can’t sleep I’ll be back later!

Sky

As seen from the bus stop near my place of work. The sky was amazing for about an hour. This is the only photo that came anywhere near to doing it justice.

24 Hours Later…

I was in a rather funny head-space last night, as that stream of consciousness displayed. Tiredness, worry, anger and an unexpected question combined to put me somewhere not terribly fun to be. I’m not a violent man by nature, having inherited my Father’s slow temper. Last night, however, had they been within reach, one person may well have felt the weight of my hand while another would have heard what you might describe as a full and frank expression of my opinion.

Fast forward to here and now. I have a large glass of Tropical Fruit Juice and a pack of Lincoln biscuits rapidly diminishing. I also have a full-time, permanent job, as opposed the temporary agency-based contract I had been working under. Yes, gentle reader, the fear of my contract running out and my struggling has gone. I am under no illusions about the work I’ll be expected to do and have no doubt that I can do it. I’ve struggled to suppress squeals of excitement since about lunchtime.

So on Monday, I’m back into training and ready to soak it up.

And I got to make a cup of tea for my Lady tonight somewhere other than the Works Canteen. Today was a good day.

Stream Of Consciousness

There was something written about doors and corridors and life by a far wiser man than I. He may have had a point. Opportunities present themselves like unexpected doors around corners. Which of those doors we choose to step through defines where our life will go. Only to certain extent, though. Some doors we may find opened for us by others and we have the choice then to enter or to pass them by. Some doors may be locked and unopenable. Others will be slammed in our faces. Some that we hope to walk through may be quietly and politely closed in our faces. Doors, doors, doors.

Corridors can be eerie things. Uncanny, in a way. Dorothy L. Sayers wrote that it didn’t do to think to closely about cats or bells. Corridors are similar. Passageways to the unknown, for who amongst us can say with certainty exactly what waits around the corner. We all have our hopes and dreams and God knows, I’ve not made a very good job of keeping mine secret. I hope that no-one reading this ever turns a corner to find something unpleasant waiting for them. I hope that I don’t!

Of course, unpleasantness can be a purely subjective term. For example, I would find a very hot, sunny day unpleasant and a cool misty morning delightful. I guess that some people might think that I was kinda weird and it wouldn’t be the first time that’s been levelled at me. I’ve been called worse things before though and undoubtedly will be again.

I have just read something that distracted me somewhat and I’ve realised that it’s later than I thought. So before I have a shower and run shivering to bed, I have three words to leave you with, laden with meaning, allegory and hope for the future.

 

Bag of sugar.

Across the desks

So yes, let’s talk about Stress Management at work.There are many tools to help one deal with work related stress. Sadly none of these quite prepare one for  suddenly being spoken to in a supposedly deserted corridor, late enough in the evening that one wouldn’t expect anyone to be around. Let’s just say that I now have a clearer idea of what the ceiling looks like close up.

People in lower echelons at work places are quite often fairly dismissive of those higher up in the food chain. “Cushy little office job” they might think.

Over the last 15 months or so I’ve had an insight into the way that some people in these “office jobs” work and the pressures that they’re put under.

Once one becomes a salaried employee then “the man” is at you all the time. Clocking in and clocking out may feel like a chain but in reality it is the key that unlocks the chain. You clock out and you’re done. If you’re a salaried employee then you have a series of goals set and you work the required number of hours to try to get those tasks done.

I have watched the effect that this has, sometimes, on someone I know. Early mornings and late nights in darkened meeting rooms, urgently tapping at her laptop, paddling frantically to stay still or even to keep afloat. So many plates spinning on sticks that that just trying to keep track of them all makes her dizzy, never mind the logistics of actually keeping them all spinning.

And yet she’s fantastic at her job. I’m objective enough to recognise someone with a real talent for the “art” involved in what she does. The “admin” part of the job may not be her strong suit but she’s plenty smart enough to deal with it, given a little support. “Support” for people in these kinds of positions isn’t all it could be sometimes, sadly.

Okay, I’m not to blog directly about work; I promised myself that so let’s veer away from the subject. There are lots of crows all around the city.I suppose that they’d creep some people out but they don’t bother me. I’m quite amused by them actually. They’re clearly very intelligent (for birds!) and will cock their heads to one side and fix you you with a very appraising expression. Unless you’ve had a sizeable crow sat about three feet away from you, weighing you up, you really don’t get what I mean. Especially if you have a bag of chips in one hand!

And the swans! There’s a lake called The Lough not far from where I live and I can honestly say that I’ve never seen so many swans together in one place before. I always figured that they were kind of solitary birds that would pair off and then have a defined territory that others weren’t welcome in. Not on The Lough. I’m sure that every pair has their own “turf” but there’s very little conflict that I’ve seen. Harmonious living!

How’s that for a key? Harmonious living. Balancing different aspects of one’s life can be a precarious thing. Work duties and loved ones, offering welcome support and being overpowering like a duvet that’s too heavy for the weather. There’s a tricky middle ground to walk and no-one is going to get it right all the time.

How deep was that lot? Seriously. Also the longest entry there’s been here for some time. All courtesy of a small, pink computer.

Good karma

The last post was written in the wee small hours of the morning, while I waited for the kettle to boil. Just to clarify, it is in no way a suggestion of “trouble in paradise”, okay? I am very, very happy. Like everyone, I have bad dreams, sometimes.

I had a busy Saturday. During the day a crowd of maybe 9 or 10 of us from work (and a couple of friends) did some decorating at the local residential unit of the Simon Community. From about 10 till 5 we painted and then cleaned up after ourselves. We did a good thing and had a few laffs too.

The evening saw a works outing to the Greyhound Track, which was new experience for me. We were late (rawr!) but not too late to have a couple of drinks and some fun. At least until my more glamorous half got her ear bent at length by a young lady struggling with the Training Process and with her personal circumstances.

Sunday morning was beautiful. Waking up with the sun streaming through the window and making someone’s hair shine like her eyes. The honesty and closeness that we share leaves me very moved, humbled and more than a little awe-struck. “Happy” I said earlier. Doesn’t even come close….

Dreaming…

It’s late afternoon and I’m running in a gathering storm. Not a beautiful, dramatic storm, come to freshen the air and cleanse the land but an evil, brooding storm, full of threat and menace.

I must climb the hill. The only shelter that there is is at the top of the hill. The first spatters of a cold, clinging rain lash against my face as the wind’s icy tendrils slip around me but I’m nearly at the top of the hill. Even though it’s now dusk, it doesn’t matter. I’m nearly at the top of the hill and there’s shelter there, under the tree.

No matter how fast I run through over the slippery grass the tree suddenly looks very distant. It can’t be far away surely. It seemed so close. I lower my head and run faster. Fast as I can, almost weeping with the effort and the fear of the storm.

Suddenly, simultaneously, a low rumble of thunder like a convulsion in the Earth shakes me to my soul and lightning flashes. By the corrupt, ghastly light of the storm I see the tree silhouetted. Not safe. Dark, gaunt, reaching toward me with branches as bare and dry as skeletal fingers, cracking and snapping with contempt and loathing……

End of my week

It’s been a funny week. That’s a good example right there. I know that it’s only Thursday but I worked on Sunday so it feels like Friday. Especially as I’m not at work again until Monday.

It’s been a week of long days with not much opportunity for “personal time”. There’s been the odd delicious moment or two but it’s been mainly a case of being supportive. And I don’t just mean my being supportive – I get at least as much as I give.

I need to finish the covering letter for my application but am too tired tonight. I’ll do it in the morning and have a bus ride out to work late tomorrow morning, hand the stuff in (after printing it off, of course!) and hang around to have lunch. Then it’s back to town for more words with my bank, shopping and housework. I’ve done very little housework in the last few days and need to blitz it again. Actually, I could do with an Au Pair, preferably one with nouse enough to buy sugar when it’s needed.

I had a few vivid images floating around in my brain today but try as I might I couldn’t get them to join together at all. I have them written down and we’ll see if they end up going anywhere.

So I’m off to bed and I don’t have to set my alarm for 5.45. I’ll still set it, just not for that early. Good night all!