How's that?

So it happened. For the first time in 24 years England won the Ashes in Australia. Or more accurately, avoided losing them. It's still possible that the series will end in a 2-2 draw. For the time being though, this is what's important...

I used to play cricket. Not "representatively" and not well, but I enjoyed the Hell out of it. There are stories I could tell about the cricketing days but they mostly involve varying states of inebriation interspersed with "sporting achievements". There are definitely tales about "15 to win and the last man in" and escapades at away games.

To the best of my knowledge, there are few if any photgraphs - we were all too busy enjoying ourselves!

Not now

Lack of inspiration tonight.

I felt the urge to blog but couldn't think what to write! I'd kind of like to expand my range a litle - start blogging about my feelings and opinions on current events, for example, rather than just about my feelings. We'll see how that goes. Starting tomorrow. It's a little late now.

So here it is...

So that was Christmas Day. For the second year running I spent it at work. To be honest, I probably wasn't well enough, still, to go in. Lunchtime arrived and I'd started to feel rather tired and more than a little light-headed. I made a conscious effort to ease back and to take things quietly and was able to get through the day.

I have tomorrow (Boxing Day in the UK, St Stephen's Day here) off work, before going back on Monday. The fact that I'm not due in in the morning means that I can still be up at this time listening to the Ashes online.

I was looking at my roster at one point during the day today. I work Monday to Friday next week, have next Saturday off, work Sunday to Thursday, then have a long weekend before I start my new job on the 10th of January. The fact that in a little over a year I've gone from a temp to...something more impressive, seems a little surreal really. The doubts that I had about my employability seem to have been unfounded. Like anyone without searing self-confidence, there are still moments when I doubt that I'm going to be able to "cut it". Thankfully these moments are few and far between. I can do "words" me, and most of the new job is going to be producing the written word.

I've just glanced out of the window and the snow is thawing. The wind is rising and there is rain on the way. I can happily live with wind and rain but I'm kind of done with the snow and ice for a while. Depending on how much wind and rain there is when I wake up, I may go for a walk or I may not. My priority tomorrow is to relax, with thoughts of my lovely lady.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas...

...yeah, you know that one. This isn't it. That would be too much of a cliché.

It's been a peculiar kind of Christmas Eve. My Lady and I exchanged presents yesterday (although apparently there is a stocking waiting at work for me, for the morning) and today I have hardly left the house. Again. I did think that it might be nice to go for a Christmas pint this evening but that lasted a whole 15 minutes.

On medical advice, I haven't let a drop of alcohol pass my lips all week. From the first mouthful this evening I could tell that it should have stayed that way. Beamish Stout, while yummy, isn't the strongest drink in the world but as soon as I started on my pint tonight I felt my head swimming. For a second I had the uncomfortable feeling that I was going to pass out. The feeling passed soon enough but I didn't enjoy it at all. It took any kind of enjoyment out of the pub for me this evening and I drained my glass as quickly as I dared and came back home.

Work have laid on taxis to get staff in an out tomorrow - yes, I'm working on Christmas Day again. There's an upside to it - I get a Christmas dinner this year, For free, too! And once I get tomorrow done I have another day off as well. This does mean, though, that I have to get up and go to work tomorrow, so I'd better draw this Christmas Eve to  a close.

May I wish you all blessings of the season and may your God, whatever you perceive him (or her) to be, smile on you tonight, tomorrow and light your roads. Merry Christmas!

Waffle

So yesterday, December 23rd, my Pretty Lady finished work for her Christmas break. She goes back on January 10th which is the same day that I start my new job there! Coincidence.

It's kind of possible that I won't see her again before then. We'll do what we can but current circumstances may make it impossible. We'll see.

I've been off work sick all this week after my fall on Saturday morning. Besides the after-effects of the fall(s), I've been struggling with one of the 'orrible flu-like viruses that float around at this time of year. And as you can maybe tell, I can sleep tonight. Firing up the computer again and typing in a stream of drivel may not be the most widely recognised cure for insomnia but the sheep that I might usually count have been quarantined due to unseasonal foot and mouth disease. Funny that. Some people should sometimes be quarantined due to foot-in-mouth disease. I may have to suggests that be implemented in my place of work, particularly for those dealing directly with customers.

Right, lights out again, je pense. I may have to try counting animals that are slightly less boring than sheep. I wonder if it's possible to battle sleeplessness by counting duck-billed platypuses?

Incidentally, there is no universally agreed plural of the word "platypus". "Platypuses" is the usual scientific useage, while the pseudo-intellectual "platypi" is technically incorrect. Apparently. So now we know.

Analysis

Road conditions hazardous, flights to UK cancelled - The Irish Times - Sun, Dec 19, 2010

"It is extremely slippery on many roads in Tipperary, Limerick, Kerry and there are particularly hazardous conditions in Cork."

No shit!

I'm a bit of a mess, really. I don't think that I've done myself any serious head harm by falling. Not physically at least. What I have done is shattered my nerve for walking on the pavements as they are at the moment. I'm hoping that I can get away with it for this week - I don't start work until early afternoon so things may not be too icy (and there'll be buses into the city) and maybe I can get a lift home or possibly work might provide transport.

What I do know is that in the summer I could have walked from my home to the Bus Station in 25 minutes tops. If I had to do it tomorrow, to be at the Bus Station for 6.40 when the first bus runs, I'd need a good hour and a half and would be a gibbering wreck if I finally managed it.

There's meant to be a thaw as of Christmas Day so after that I should hopefully be okay.

It's not just fear of hurting myself again (although God knows I'm a wuss about pain), it's that tiny voice that whispers things about blood clots and fractures and the horrible, clinical sound of the word "brain". I've been thinking about it far too much and I know what it is: I'm scared to lose what I've found, due to a freak accident. I need to get over this PDQ as this way lays madness.

And I think I'm getting a cold. Triffic.

Whoopsie!

Yes, I'm still excited by the prospect of my new job. I had a little difficulty getting into the current one on Saturday, though!

Let me tell you the whole sorry tale...

Friday night was the Team Christmas Party, and typically, snow hit Cork that afternoon. As it's now known that I'll be moving to another job in January I thought I'd better turn up to be sociable. During the course of the evening I was chatting with one of the managers and explained that I wouldn't be staying out late as I was at work at 7 o'clock on Saturday morning. He laughed and said he was pleased to hear that someone who knew what they were doing would be in.

This was still in my mind when I walked out of the house at 6 o'clock Saturday morning and found that the snow from the previous night had half-thawed and then frozen again, leaving the pavements somewhat akin to a skating rink. I'd slipped over once within a few yards of my front door and landed heavily on my hip but managed to get my hands down to protect my head. I distinctly remember muttering to myself "Okay, so it's slippery. Be careful."

About 10 minutes later I was over again. My legs just went out from under me and I fell hard. This time I didn't get the chance to get my hands down and gave my head a nasty rap on the pavement. I nearly gave up and went home at that point, but pressed on On reflection, I'm not sure that was best option.

I live on a road that descends into the city down a steep hill and by the time I reached the bottom of it my nerve had gone completely and I was shuffling along clutching at lamp-posts and window sills. Despite that I made it to the Bus Station in time to catch my bus and got to work.

When I asked someone if they had any painkillers, they seemed to look at me closely and asked "Bloody Hell! What happened to your head?"

To cut the story a little shorter, I was sent, chaperoned, up to a local medical centre for a check up. They established that nothing was broken but recommended that I should go home. So here I've been. I've had 3 lovely ladies checking on me by text and my very own Lovely Lady has phoned a few times and is coming round tomorrow. My head has been gradually improving - at 9 this morning I was nauseous, dizzy and in pain. It's now faded to a dull throb and my hip is giving me far more gyp after that first fall.

I haven't been outside the house at all since the taxi that work paid for dropped me back at the house. I'd like to pop over the road to the shop tomorrow but may need someone to help me to look for my bottle first!!

Secret's out

The formal announcement has been made so I can share it here - I have a new job, starting in January.

It's in the same place but far more the sort of thing that I'd like to be doing. I'm unlikely to go into many more details about the job but I'll blog later (probably) about my feelings about it. For now, 2 words: dead chuffed!

Secret

I've got something to tell you all.

But I can't. Not yet. Patience is a virtue. Some things are worth waiting for.

Waiting

Way past my bedtime, I guess, as I have to be up early. Not as early as I would were a beautiful soul not going out of her way to pick me up in the morning, but still early.

I'm waiting, almost suspended in time, for news about the interview I took. I honestly won't be broken up if I don't get the job - I just want to know.

I also want to blog more regularly, and about differing subjects. I can feel the pressure to write building in me, which, given the job I'm waiting to hear about, is a good thing.

Standing

It's been a strange kind of a day. I've been kind of house-bound with what is laughingly referred to as "an upset stomach". Any further elaboration would probably be over-sharing!

I ventured across the road earl this evening to buy a lottery ticket and quite enjoyed the drizzle on my face. The shop staff, while pleasant enough, aren't really the sort for a chat soit was wonderful to get a couple of unexpected phone calls from my Pretty Lady. She's very good to think of me when her lad is poorly and she's not well herself.

I guess that both she and I are starting to show the strain of the whole "Q4 thing" at work. For an online retailer the build-up to Christmas is a very busy period (next week is what we'd call "peak week") and I think the cracks are starting to show. Any kind of bug that's floating around settles on one and althought it';s possible to hold it at bay during the week by sheer will-power, the slight relaxation at the weekend lets it take hold. I have no doubts that we'll both be in work on Monday morning, though. I'll be hoping for good news following the interview I had on Friday. It (well - they, as there were 3 of them) seemed to go well. So much so that I won't even be disappointed if I don't get the post. After such a good interview, if they give the job to someone else then they're the right person for the job!

I've spent most of the day with the radio on in the background, reading The Stand by Stephen King. While it's probably my favourite story by King, there's something slightly unsetling about reading an apocalyptic tale with no-one else around. It makes for a rather sombre and morose state of mind, which I attempt to close now by going to sleep. Or trying to do so.

Big News!

I have a computer in the house again. And it's mine, not on loan! It's a desktop and it's currently on the floor but that's okay too. I have a computer again and am slowly turning it into what I want.

I also have an important job interview tomorrow, which is why I'm being so brief here. Time for bed.

Drifted

When I was stood outside smoking I had an idea for something to post here. Something deep and meaningful about decisions.

By the time I'd walked back into the building and sat down at a PC it was gone, drifting like lazy snowflakes in the wind. Not completely gone - there's still a slight taste of it in my mind but not in any form that I could express. It was something about choosing to do what you believe in your heart to be right but more than that.

Oh well.

Quandaration

Molto conflicted here. The weather in Ireland is very cold. Our part of the country has escaped the worst of the snow (so far) but some patches of road are extremely icy.

One such patch is about 2 miles from a certain lady's house. On a steep hill. In the middle of nowhere.

I know that she'd like to get home to see her family and I also know that she's scared of driving that patch of road in these conditions. I'm trying to walk a delicate line between being supportive of whatever decision she makes - whether to try to get home (and then risk not being able to get in again in the morning, which isn't currently an option) or being more persuasive in my feeling that she should stay at mine.

My suggestion is (I think) about 30% selfishness that I want her to stay with me and about 70% concern for her safety. Of course, this is likely to be wildly inaccurate as I'm only human and try not to paint myself in a bad light.

What isn't open for discussion is that if she tries the drive I will worry constantly until she lets me know that she's home safely and then worry most of the night about her getting back in in the morning. Yes, I can talk to her on her mobile (she has a hands-free kit) so she has "company" in the car but if she slides off the road what am I gonna do? Walk 30-odd miles to help her? Without hesitation, if I thought that I could actually get to her before, God forbid, an ambulance would.

She'll have guilt if she stays with me, I know that too. All I can do is give her my honest opinion ("no secrets, no lies"), including as honest appraisal of my motives behind it as I can manage and not pressurise her at all. Ultimately, I'll back her in whatever she chooses 100% and if it means walking through the night to help her out of a crashed car then I'll do that too.

The Weather

Very foggy here tonight, all of a sudden.

I kind of like the fog. I know that at this time of years it makes things seem colder and damper than they really are, and makes driving a nightmare, but I like walking in it. It's mysterious somehow, yes, but it seems to impart the same kind of peace that snow does. Whether it's physically possible or not I don't know but it seems to "deaden" sounds.

And talking of snow, they forecast that for here too, over the next few days. Pretty.

Tonight

It seems strange tonight, not to have my Lady by my side.

Sometimes are easier than others, when she's not around. Tonight I'm not sad or miserable or morose or depressed or even especially lonely. I just miss her being in my arms.

The 7th day. Again.

It's Sunday again. I don't know why it is but I'm learning to thoroughly hate Sundays.

I'm not going to sit here and feel sorry for myself. I'm going to go for a walk, pick up a few bits of shopping, come home and have a late lunch, maybe watch a movie and then put together a plan for a permanent, full-time post that's arisen at work. It's not in the training sphere but it does give me a chance to flex my writing and editorial muscles again. Which would be nice.

It would also be regular hours of (I guess) 8.30 - 5.30ish. This is not only a matter of preference. The only buses that would get me out to the business park I work on are run by Skylink and their service is currently "suspended". This means that if I were to revert to my usual role at work and find myself on the early shift, starting at 7.00 in the morning, I'd be scratching around for a lift, paying for cabs or walking upwards of 5 miles. I don't like any of those options.

So I need to get this one, this time!

Monday, Monday

Although the weather last night wasn't especially inviting, it didn't seem to approach the biblical proportions that the forecasters had been warning of. As a particularly erudite woman noted..."there's an awful lots of ass-covering going on there".

I don't make a habit of blogging about work, so I'll just say that it was a bit of a challenging day for lots of people, for lots of reasons, and I'll leave it at that. Sure and it'll be grand!!

So I'm sat here at work waiting for my lovely lady and thought I'd take the opportunity to drop back in again. I'm rather pleased with myself after yesterday - loads of housework done. Largely ironing, and only because I'd remembered to buy hangers. I seem to have been accumulating shirts without hangers which is something I'm clearly going to have to watch in future.

I didn't mention it at all over the weekend but I had a thoroughly enjoyable Saturday afternoon in the local pub, watching two rugby games. It even included a pint "on the house" which can't be bad at all. It was nice to feel welcome.

I had rather a shock today. I learned that the bus company I use to get to work when I'm doing my "usual" job rather than my current interim post, have suspended their service for "10 to 12 weeks". This isn't Bus Éireann, it's a local firm that runs from the city centre out to the airport. They run earlier in the morning so that I'm able to be here for 7 o'clock when required. I'll confess to being a little concerned. If my interim role runs out before they start up again then there's no way that I'm going to be able to get in at that time of the morning without relying on someone's good auspices for a lift and I hate taking people out of their way. There'd be no earthly reason for my Lady to be going to work that early so it'd be a case of asking around other people who start at that kind of time. Or just warning my manager that I'm going to be consistently 5 minutes late. Or walking. I wonder how long 7 km or so would take me, uphill, in the depths of winter! I might have to give it a go one day, just to see.

Sunday evening

It may not have been a complete cure for the Sunday blues but I managed to hold them slightly at bay by immersing myself in housework. I've laundered, ironed and washed up. I've hoovered, scrubbed and tidied. All in between bouts of eating (having been shopping recently), Facebooking and gazing at the weather. Ah yes, the weather.

There are Severe Weather Warnings in place for several coastal districts of Ireland, including Cork. It's one of those times that I'm glad I live at the top of a hill. I'm sat here on my bed and I can hear the rain roaring on the roof. By itself this isn't unusual but tonight it's gone on and on. With a high-tide due I'm also glad that I don't have to travel through the city to get to work. There are going to be floods by the morning, I'm fairly sure.

Luckily a certain lovely lady has offered to pick me up in the morning which will give me an extra hour at least in my lovely new bedding and save me a soaking! Add to that the fact that where I catch the bus is likely to be underwater and I'm even more grateful than usual for a ride into work.

Tomorrow I'm Training Assistant for another class of New Hires. That should be at least the next two weeks spoken for. I can't explain to you all how much I'm enjoying this training lark! But as I need to have a functioning brain in the morning, I guess I'd better be turning in. Goodnight all.

Sunday again

It's chilly today but I guess that's no surprise now it's November.

There is completely foul weather forecast for today so I'm not planning on going anywhere. I guess I have housework to do to keep me out of mischief and to try to keep "the Sunday feeling" at bay.Quite what it is about Sundays, I don't know but if I'm feeling cold, sad and lonely then it's a better than 1 in 7 chance that the day is a Sunday.

Okay, washing up first, je pense...

...and again!

It may be easy to get out of the blogging habit but it appears to be fairly easy to slip back into it again (rawr).

If all goes well, I may have a computer again sooner than I'd hoped, which would be very, very cool. Looking at the Last.fm widget on the left of the page, it's now been 112 days since I've had a computer of my own. Strange to think that it's been that long.

Today was a day of surprises, mostly good ones. Someone was far nicer to me than I expected and I received a very nice official document from work. It appears that I may be in this role until the end of the year. This would be exceptionally good but I'm quite prepared to have that change at short notice. It's just been good to have the opportunity to spread my wings a little bit. And I don't think that I've let myself or anyone else down.

It's been nice to come home after a day at work and just relax, having "eaten out". It's getting back towards the time of year when bed is by far the warmest place in the house so just being able to snuggle into the warmth with some music on is divine! Stone floors are all very well in the summer months but at this time of year they turn the downstairs of the house into something resembling an ice box. Which may be a blessing in disguise, given the unreliability of the fridge.

This is already as many posts in November as I managed in September and October combined. I think that maybe some kind of a dam may have burst...

Musings for Monday

I discovered something today - it is actually possible to drink too much coffee. I'm sat here at work at the end of the day and I feel quite queasy at the thought of it. This is the problem with coffee being available for free. Maybe I should switch to tea tomorrow.

I got a letter today confirming me in my interim role and explaining the benefits, the most beneficial of which is the whole "not working shifts" thing! On an equally vaguely work related note, I guess I'd better take down the Hallowe'en decorations in the room at some point over the next couple of days. There'll be Christmas ones up soon.

I'm finding it hard to believe that it's November already. It really is kinda startling how quickly this year has gone.

I get to treat my lovely lady to a bag of chips, once she's finished work and am looking forward to the chips nearly as much as her company. I actually typed "loomking" instead of "looking" there - this conjures up some kind of peculiar pagan weaving ritual which ought to be made into a cult horror movie. Or perhaps that's just the coffee OD talking again. I hope so as that might explain the pulse I can feel in my right eyelid which is freaking me out more than a little bit.

For now, I'll leave you with this thought...

Pleasures

It's very easy to get out of the blogging habit when one doesn't have regular access to a computer. I wish I could blog properly using my phone but it's a genuine pain in the posterior.

I rediscovered the pleasure in a few things today. One is being able to transfer music to my iPod. I've had a couple of CDs sitting around that I've only been able to listen to on a borrowed laptop. While it's awesomely generous of my Lady to lend me a laptop when she can, it's not a hi-fi experience for listening to music. Today I was able to find a tiny program (about the size of one 3-minute mp3 song) which allowed me to put my new albums on my iPod and properly crank them out. Lovely.

I rediscovered how relaxing it is to fuss a dog's head. I was out for a walk in the rain this afternoon and met a fairly random hound out doing much the same thing. We exchanged a couple of pleasantries and I gently held my hand out for it to sniff. Encouraged by a wag, I ruffled it's head and was rewarded with a big doggy grin. So we communed for a while. Making a new doggy friend in the rain is not the worst way to spend some of a Sunday afternoon.

On the subject of pleasures, I am thoroughly enjoying my new interim post. Like any new job it's come with occasional ups and downs but it's far more the sort of thing I'd like to be doing - and it means I'm not working silly shifts. 8.30 to 5.30 Monday to Friday suits me pretty well.

I've also had the chance to spend a lovely amount of time with the woman I love. She stayed over last weekend and it was divine just to hang out together talking, reading, laughing, loving, going for walks and cuddling. A whole treefull of birds taking off at the same time is always going to make me smile now. We went to a works quiz for Hallowe'en on Friday night, after spending the day in fancy dress at work (we were both pirates!) and spent the night at the hotel it was hosted at. We had a couple of lovely people from outside work on our team and thoroughly enjoyed the evening, not least because we won! €200 split between the four us! Our share paid for the hotel room we'd booked, which was such a good idea by the way. As was the late check-out.

Any and all time spent with her is time well spent.

So I'm back to work in the morning. Another fantastic thing about the hours is that it pretty much matches the hours that my Lady works and she's being kind enough to come and pick me up in the mornings, which means I don't have to set my alarm for silly o'clock to get a bus out to work. Even so, it's past time I turned in for the night. I'll try to make the effort to get back here again soon. G'night all.

Interim

It's still very difficult to get back here as regularly as I'd like as I still don't have a working PC in the house.

Thanks to the generous loan of a laptop for the night (mmmmwah!!) I can mention that tomorrow I start work as an Interim Training Assistant. Vair 'cited! Yes, it's a temporary position but it's still something of a big deal for me and it wouldn't have been possible without the unwavering support of a certain Lovely Lady.

Thank you, sweetie!

Dwelling unit, sweet dwelling unit

I've been sat here tonight looking online at accommodation available. It's not that I'm on the point of moving, I just wanted to see what was about.

For very little more than I pay rental now I could get a very cool place. The real problem is that it's unfurnished. So yet again, I need to win the lottery. Realistically, that isn't going to happen (although...) so I need to look at other ways of raising money. Working the hours/shifts that I do, it's not logistically possible to get a second job. In a little over a year, if I'm still working in the same place, I'll be entitle to sell the shares I have, so lets hope the share price goes through the roof!

I guess I'll keep plodding on. There are cheaper places to live out there but as I'm quite regularly up before 5 in the morning to go to work, I don't want to risk moving into an apartment block where student parties will be going on all night. That may cause a certain amount of "unpleasantness".

I guess I'll keep doing what I can - spend as little as possible, work all the overtime I can stand and keep hoping for that other miracle. Isn't that greedy? I've had one miracle and now I want another!

Knock, knock

Hello. Remember me?

I have the loan of a laptop for the night so I thought I'd better reassure my loyal and devoted readership that I'm actually still alive and getting on with stuff as best I can, not hiding behind a sofa rocking back and forth with a paper bag over my head. That's next week.

So I could actually sit here all night and tap away at the keyboard - I have weeks of stuff to catch up on. I won't of course. I have to be up in the morning to hand the laptop back to its owner on her way into work.

I'm not going to waste this time and space with random philosophical musings (42) nor with thinly veiled hints about circumstances at work (someone please drop a house on her) and I'm just going to say how nice it is to be back, even if only briefly. I can tell by looking at my last.fm widget on the left that it's now 73 days since I've had a working computer of my own. This, it has to be admitted, is a pain in the arse.

Things that would have featured in posts here are bad dreams, a brief visit to Dublin, lots of overtime, nice people, not-so-nice people, a fair sized stream of consciousness and lots of loved-upness. So you've missed very little really.

I'll try to get back here more often . There are inexpensive internet cafés around, one of which is on my way back from town. For now, I think, it's bedtime. I have to be up in the morning.

Take care, world. Try to be nice to one another.

Perspective

I had every intention of popping up to work today, just to give myself a head start for Monday. I screwed up with the bus times, though and couldn't be arsed to hang around waiting for the next one. I didn't get here but that might be a blessing in disguise. I start back on a different shift to usual and least now I know the times of the buses. I may have a saunter out there over the weekend.

There's two other things that I wanted to mention. One is that I was eating a Cornetto this evening and thought how much they'd shrunk since I was a boy. I wonder if this isn't just an illusion. Every single ice-cream or chocolate bar that was on the market when I was young seems smaller now than it did then. I guess it could just be that I'm bigger...

The other thing I noticed is that it does my heart as much good to hear about my Lady going out and having a good time with her buddies as it does to go out myself. And, of course, I don't get the hangover!

Last Straw?

I've been chuntering about the Mobile Phone provider that myself and my Lady use for some time. Nearly all the exclamations of "stoopid phone" can be laid at the poor signal.

She's away with a couple of friends, down by the coast, for a couple of nights. While I was able to text or call to say "goodnight" while she was in Jamaica (over 4000 miles away) there's no signal from our provider where she is.

Growl.

Late, but...

Just briefly for tonight, it strikes me that on the day that using foul and abusive language toward Consumer Electronics fails to solve their inherent problems, I may well have a problem

For now, I go in search of peaceful sleep and sweet dreams.

Novelty

I have the loan of a laptop for a few days!

I make no guarantees about quality but you should see a brief surge in the quantity of posts here, for the next couple of days at least. It's like having a New Toy.

Complications

It's been a while again. Sorry, if anyone has been wondering what's happening.

So I still have no access to the internet at home. This netbook doesn't work with my wireless dongle and the "big laptop" is FUBAR. I'm currently availing of free wifi at the hotel near work.

I'd really like to have a rant here about something at work but that breaches the only form of self-censorship I've set myself. So I can't.

Suffice to say that myself and my Lovely Lady have discovered that someone appears to hold a grudge against us. Consequently, while at work, we're having to steer clear of one another. It's ridiculous, upsetting and frankly, I'm as angry as I can ever remember being. I'm a good friend to have but a poor enemy to make. My Lady and I are easily strong enough to get past this but someone is gonna get theirs one day. Big time.

We both have next week off on holiday and she's taking the chance to catch up with family a little. I approve. I'll miss her horribly but I wholeheartedly approve. She needs to be "away" for a while, I think and her kids will love it. So will she.

So, I will probably spend most of the week reading, sleeping, listening to music and working on my Voodoo Doll. I will resist the temptation to go out and get righteously plastered as I'll only get maudlin and, to be honest, I'm getting too old for that shit now.

There may well be more posts here than there have been of late. It's probably cheaper to pay for an hour or two in an Internet Cafe than to find somewhere with free wifi - that tends to involve my buying pints, just to be polite, you understand!

For now, that's probably all I have for you. I hope that Herself will be finished work soon and we can spend about an hour together before she has to go. The week before last was something akin to Heaven on Earth. This week has been far, far harder to deal with. Such is life, I suppose.

Googled

I seem to have bought into Google wholesale recently. I set up a new gmail account with a more "grown up" address than my previous one and set it to gather all my other email accounts to it. I imported everything into my Google Calendar (apart from shifts at work - gah! I'm going to have to find out what time I'm expected in next Monday) and Google address book. I just switched my feeds from Bloglines to the Google Reader and can now post at Twirling from the new account.

I guess this was prompted by not having a working computer at home. I needed to be able to easily find everything, preferably all in one place. It's helped but it's still very frustrating not to be able get online whenever I want without walking down to an internet café.

At least when I do have access at home again, I'll have the convenience, thanks to the work I've put in.

Doors of perception

It's really difficult to blog at the moment. My phone only seems to be able to create drafts, rather than published posts, which leaves either work or an internet café. Work has been kinda mad (especially today) and usually when I'm in a café I have other priorities.

As my Lady is finally enjoying herself a little before flying home, I thought I'd drop in at Twirling and blow the dust away. Things quickly start to look a little unkempt.

I had a sudden awareness today of being in a strange land. As both my PC and my TV are broken, my opportunities to connect with "the familiar" are few and far between. The PC gave me a chance to interact with the rest of the world and the television, God help me, was company - other voices, other faces. So I've turned to radio and I miss the BBC.

Tonight I went for Newstalk, as opposed to any of the RTE stations (which are, politely, not great) or any of the local radion stations (like local radio the world over - an acquired taste). At one point, they referred to a popular satirical show hosted by an Irish stand-up comedian. A panelist had asked, if the recent World Cup final had been between England and France, who would the Irish have hated most? The host said that he thought they'd have to go with the Old Enemy.

It was a joke. It was funny. I get that. But I suddenly felt very alone. I don't really miss England. I made my decision with eyes wide open and have never regretted it for a second. Just occasionally though, I get lonely. Both the TV and the PC were more than windows on the world, they were doors I could step through, away from the four walls of my lovely little house. Both those doors were slammed suddenly, in quick succession. To me, the joke about the "Old Enemy" was accompanied by soundtrack of a door gradually creaking shut.

I'll be fine tomorrow, I'm sure. This has just been one of those days when everything was subtly off-kilter, even before I'd switched the alarm clock off. No worries. I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to. Including a better day tomorrow, hopefully.

Incidentally

It's absolutely chucking it down with rain. Even though it's not easy to blog from my phone I wanted to share that with you.

Waves

Feeling a little peculiar again today. I had a blazing migraine last night and couldn't settle in bed at all. It wasn't until waves of nausea swept over me at about 3.30 in the morning and I actually threw up (sorry for the overshare) that I was able to drift of into sleep.

I'm still not right. A little light-headed and very tense around my neck and shoulders. This would be the stress of my laptop breaking down when my lady is so far away. Thank God for Internet Cafés, one of which I'm in at the moment. The patop is in for a quote for repair but I fear that it might actually work out cheaper to buy a new one as that'll come with a warranty.

So I'll get my shopping home and put away and then, after making a phone call to an insurance company, maybe have a doze. Certainly a little light music and a few pages of my book, at least, and I'll take it from there.

A bright note is that one of the Tescos around the city has started stocking their not-from-concentrate Pineapple Juice that I've been missing so much while I've been over here. That's going straight into the fridge when I get home and I wouldn't be surprised if I've necked the lot by the morning.

Okay, I'm getting charged by the minute here, so that's it until I feel the pressing need to blog again.

Trauma

Nightmare. My computer finally chooses to breathe it's last while my Lady is on the other side of the world and our only easy form of contact (that isn't going to break the bank) is Skype. Yes, I have this small, pink netbook I'm typing this from but I can't use it at the house as my wireless dongle isn't compatible with it's Linux operating system and neither is Skype.

So I have the option of Internet Cafes, which I'm doing tonight, or replacing the computer. I know just enough about laptops to understand that to get it fixed (parts and labour) is going to cost me almost as much as buying a brand new one with a 3-year guarantee. Now to go speak nicely to financial institutions...

Unadventurous

Today, being Monday, was the first weekday of my week off. I didn't leave the house. I pottered around, did a little housework, a little laundry, you know the kind of stuff.

I'm going to go for a walk tomorrow. Nowhere in particular, just out for a walk. The only restriction I'm putting on it is that I'm not going anywhere that might involve spending money. I'm not actually skint yet but payday is looking quite a distance away at the moment and I don't want to run out of money before I get there. Besides little luxuries like food, I have to consider bus-fares as well, which is why time off is doubly welcome.

Having said that, I may pop up to my desk one day this week, early before anyone else is around, just to check over the emails to ensure that I don't find myself with hundreds needing my attention next Monday, and of course to see if there's any news on the job front, although if there was anything urgent I think I'd have got a phone call.

I've spent most of today immersed in Led Zeppelin. I'm not the biggest fan in the world but every now and then I feel like listening to some. Today was one of those days.

What tomorrow brings, who knows?

D'Yer Mak' 'Er?

It's a little ironic. Almost a year to the day since I arrived in Cork, my reason for reason flew out to Jamaica for a month, on work business.

Yes, I miss her horribly but we have Skype and have chatted a fair bit already. I'm more worried about her than myself. It's an awful long way from home to be, by oneself. If there had been any way at all for me to raise the fare then I'd have gone over too, so we could have bitched and moaned about the heat together. I know that she'll be fine - she's a smart, strong lady and I'm very, very proud of her, but everyone needs a hug now and again and she and I have got used to being able to turn to each other whenever we need (almost).

This is why July will be a long month. Unless the lottery ticket I have in my wallet is a winner, in which case there'll be a frantic scramble to cash it and book seats on the soonest possible flight out there.

It's getting a little late for this. I have all next week off work but I'm wilting a little now, so I think that is all for tonight.

Anniversary

As I have an important interview in the morning, this won't be a long one but I couldn't not post something.

July 8th 2009 I arrived in Cork. In the year since then I have been the most loved, best looked after man in the world. The future is bright, alhough July this year is going to be a loooong month.

Whoever said...

...that there was anything remotely easy about Sunday morning?

Unpaid.

So I'm sat at work on one of my days off. That's grand, though. I've come up to meet the most beautiful girl in the world out of work and she's just finishing off one or two things before we leave. She's nomming a choccie bar while working and has just giggled at my current Facebook status so I figure I have time to blog quickly, while glancing surreptitiously at her so as not to disturb further. She really does take my breath away.

I can't believe I have so much holiday time to take in the next couple of months. I guess that's because in the 11 months or so that I've been working here, I really haven't taken much time off at all. If I could find a way to raise the cash I would so be jetting off with my Lady somewhere.

We went to see Deep Purple Live At The The Marquee, in Cork last Wednesday night. Thoroughly enjoyable. If anyone is remotely interested, my review can be found here. There always seem to be some good stuff on there - last year saw both Chickenfoot and Anastacia playing, both of whom I'd have shelled out for tickets for but they were about a month before I arrived. This year has had Paul Weller and Blondie amongst others, but I didn't really have the financial muscle to manage more than one and that just had to be Purple. Can't wait to see what next year brings!

I'm only at work for about two days over the next three weeks so I must make sure that my Manager/Team Leads have my contact details to hand, should I be called for an interview for any of the jobs that I've applied for internally. Two of them are "interim posts" which would be cool but for a limited period of time. The other one is a permanent position involving a lot of writing, which sounds right up my street...

Fingers crossed.

Electrickery

There's something going on with the electrical appliances. Watch yourselves - their day may have come!

I could put the way my phone startled me down to circumstance. It very rarely rings. When it does ring it's usually my lovely Lady. This evening I'd just got out of her car and knew that she wouldn't be calling for 15 minutes or so. When the phone rang in my pocket I think I actually left the pavement! Accidental dial - she was trying to call someone else and accidentally pressed the "dial" button and called me. Stoopid phone.

When she rang me intentionally a little while later, I learned that their TV has lost it's picture. And this only a day after her laptop bit the dust. Hmmm. All coincidental, you may say. As my laptop has been acting the bollox anyway, then you could possibly stretch that point to include my first ever "blue screen of death". Fair enough. I've been running Windows PCs for years and this is the first time I've ever seen one.

It's surely not concidental, though, that further attempts were made on me when I got home. I went turn on the lights in the kitchen and was met with a BANG as one of the bulbs blew and threw the circuit breaker. Heart racing, I took out the bulb and reset the circuit. Then my shower unit steadfastly refused to switch on for a good 10 attempts.

There's something going on and it's more than mutiny. Rebellion is in the air, I tell you.

Back again

I should maybe be making more of an effort to blog regularly. In my defence, I've been filling another commission for articles for the website I sometimes write for. That's not much of an excuse because I've been leaving it until the last thing for the last two weeks to get the articles in just before the deadlines - I've had ideas brewing and initial drafts in process but it's been a rush to get the articles completed.

It's been kind of busy at work as well. Besides the hours-per-day, I've been keeping some anti-social hours to try to support a Lady who has been working horribly hard with very little acknowledgement. 

It's also been rather unpleasant here weather-wise. I have no problems at all with rain but the recent spell of hot, muggy weather has had me wilting completely. I'm exhausted through the days, battling headaches and sleeping less well than usual through the sticky nights. Seriously, though, how bad? I need to get over it and get on with things. There's worse things than the weather, right?

So I have this week off work, although I'll be popping in on Wednesday for another interview for an interim post and then off to see Deep Purple Live at the Marquee in Cork with my Lady. It's a little strange being off work. Since I started there I've had so little time off that I'm at a little bit of a loose end. Yes, I could take some day trips but I don't really want to be spending lots of money because I'm off work. I think it's maybe a week for just chilling and catching up on some reading and some housework and taking opportunities to see my lady whenever its convenient. It's nice not to be ruled by the clock for a week, though.

Vagueness

I tend to fight shy of blogging about work but here I sit blogging from work! I'm not being too much of a bad guy - I am now well outside my working hours and am just hanging around waiting for my lovely Lady and using the company's electricity rather than my own.

I'm not breaking too much of my self-imposed restriction when I say that I'm very excited about tomorrow as I have an interview for an interim post, doing more the sort of thing that I'd like to be doing. I'll keep you posted, albeit in a vague, cryptic manner.

For now, that is all...

And counting...

This won't be a long post as I've got to be up in just over 4 hours to go to work. Stupid boy to be up this late.

I've got to be honest, these 1-day weekends are starting to get a little old. I know that it's my own fault if I choose to work overtime but even so I think it's be nice to have a little time off. I know I've got some holidays coming up soon and it'll just be nice to have a few days off in a row.

That reminds me, I must try to "fine-tune" my holidays a little tomorrow. So I guess I should go to sleep.

Bank Holiday

It's been a Bank Holiday in Ireland today. Coupled with my having a day off work, it's made the day feel very like a Sunday so forgive me if I get confused about days, okay? I don't have a set theme in mind for this post so it might feel like a bunch of bullet point stiched together loosely.

Last week was (I nearly typed "this week has been") a very strange week in lots of ways. There were so many niggles and irritations going on that either my Lady or I were soothing one another's frayed nerves nearly every day. The weather was very hot and sultry too, which didn't make it any easier. I learned (or rediscovered) that even under the kind of stress that was going on I was more than capable of doing my job...and more. This bodes well for the future, more of which in a later entry, I hope.

I've been searching for somewhile for some free calendar software that meets my needs. I'd tried Outlook at home (works reasonably well but is too much or a resource hog - I don't need all those features), Thunderbird, with the "Lightning" calendar add-on (very disappointing - lots of issues with Thunderbird itself), Sunbird (which is effectively a stand-alone version of the aforementioned add-on) which is where I thought I'd settled but I've recently been very happy with the "ReminderFox" add-on for Firefox. I have it installed on Firefox both at home and at work, which is a good sign. I'll keep you posted.

I was supposed to be off work tomorrow as well but agreed to do a day's overtime. It'll help the old bank balance next month and it never hurts to show willing.

July will be a long month, I fear.

So if I'm at work tomorrow, I should go. I don't have to get up as early as I might, thanks to a beautiful lady offering to  pick me up but I do still have to remake the bed before I can climb into it.

Goodnight all.

Me 1 Monday 0

I've been sat here for most of the evening listening to the rain rumbling on the roof. After a few days of sunshine, someone has really decided to empty the watering can.

It's been an interesting day. For some reason I've been rather confrontational today. Not with any particular person, nor with people in general - more with the day itself. Quite why I decided that Monday might have it in for me, I don't know and it's certainly not like me to get my retaliation in first but that's how it happened. I got up, kind of launched myself at Monday and grabbed it by the throat.

Whether or not it was necessary, I'm not sure. Whether the day would have turned out any better or worse if I hadn't seen it as an adversary to be overcome, I don't know. It's some distance outside my usual perspective though and took a fair amount of energy to maintain.

So how do I meet Tuesday? Do I stroll up to it with a grin and offer it "five" or do I kick its lily-white ass as soon as I set eyes on it?

*sigh* Life is very confusing.

Event Horizon

So as it's now early Monday morning does this still count as the weekend?

I haven't forgotten about "Twirling" but I seem to have been crowded for time recently. I've been playing a fair amount of chess again, which can easily take up a whole evening if I get the right frame of mind. And of course, I've been spending as much time as possible with my lovely Lady.

Every time we have to go our own ways for a little while it gets a little more difficult. I think that we're getting closer to an Event Horizon; reaching Critical Mass. Every day is a day nearer being together all the time.

And today she bought me the coolest rainbow shoelaces!

Remember me?

Er...hello.

Sorry. It's been ages. And it's very late now.

I have two whole days off work at the weekend, so there'll be something here then, 'kay?

Promise.

Denial

I never have nightmares. Especially not the kind that wake me up in the dead of night, dry-mouthed, heart racing and screams echoing in my head.

So there's no need for me to have turned on the light and to be sat here cuddling a small, fluffy dinosaur, jumping at every car that drives by, flinching at every gust of wind, with the bitterness of unshed tears cluching at my throat with fingers as dry as the grave.

Just sayin'.

Ponderous

Over the years I've grown pretty good at hiding things. Personal things. Like when I've had my feelings hurt. I guess being shy and sensitive (and if anyone laughs I'm leaving) can only be hidden so much.

One person knows very well when there's something wrong. That sentence should probably start "only one person...". I've got very good at bottling stuff up and keeping a "shiny side out". It's the little stuff that creeps through - rudeness in those I wouldn't think it of; thoughtlessness; cliques; people who are the life and soul of the party with most people but make no effort to diguise their disdain for others, without getting to know them.

Of course, a solution to this would be to stop my mind from churning over things again and again. I used to be able to stop it with sizeable amounts of alcohol and the like but I'm getting too old for that shit now. Anything more than about 4 pints is going to leave me fit for absolutely nothing the following morning.

We all have our little psychoses to carry, I guess. Somedays theyre heavier than others. And with sharp edges.

The Sky's The Limit

It' getting kinda late but it struck me that I hadn't been around for a few days.

It's still a little bit up in the air as my manager is on holiday until Thursday but let's just say that the "issue" at work appears to have been sorted out. I needed to nail it and I did. Cometh the hour, cometh the man and all that jazz!

Hopefully things will now start to mellow out a little bit and I can start to properly kick some ass. It's comin', you mothers. Watch me fly...

Falling stars, shooting stars, seeing stars

I don't really know what I'm doing blogging tonight. There's something that's weighing really heavily on me but I can't mention it here. The only form of self-censorship I impose is about work so lets just say that I might be looking for "other opportunities" soon.

In complete contrast, a certain lovely Lady is doing very well and will be representing her company abroad, for three weeks, in a rather exotic location. I'm so proud of her I may actually burst. Yes, I'll miss her horribly but it's a good thing for her career and I'm sure she'll have a fabulous time. She deserves it.

Closer to home, I just gave my head a terrific crack on an overhang above the stairs. I'm seeing a few stars here so I'm going to close my eyes and see if they go away.

Sir Realism

I'm sat at work, waiting for my Lady. I've played on Facebook as much as I dare, considering it's strictly verboten and I'm kinda bored. I'm also feeling a little sick. This is about 50% being poorly and about 50% the day I've had. Ah well.

So I need to find a way to shake off these Friday blues and remember that I have the company of a beautiful, intelligent woman to look forward to and a day off work tomorrow. I'm not wasting any of this evening or tomorrow being miserable - Sunday will soon roll around and I'll have loads of time for that then.

Line in the Sand

There's a dead giveaway for when I'm under stress - my skin.

For the last three weeks I've been under threat at work. At the age of 44 if I get dismissed for failing to meet targets, for whatever reason, then things are not good. Notice the typical English flair for understatement there? I've ticked all the boxes for the last three weeks while my skin has got gradually drier, I've got steadily spottier and spent more and more time clawing at my hands and arms. 

No more. I am better than that and I have plans. This shit ends.

Because I will have it so.

Changes

Wow, I felt ill last night! As you know, my usual blogging time is last thing at night but there was no way I was going to try to sit up and type last night. I was convinced for a while I was coming down with the 'Flu. I was alternately cold and hot, I was shivery, dizzy, nauseous, the works. This after having a sore throat all day.

After a reasonably good night's sleep, I feel a little better - if forced to quantify it I'd say I'm about 70%, which will do for a Sunday. I'm taking it fairly easy with the housework as I need to well enough for work tomorrow, so I may draw the line at laundry and washing up.

What I do have, which is making me feel a little better, is a new internet connection. Up until now I've been using a pay-as-you-go wireless dongle from 3. It's been...okay. Not terribly quick and little flaky sometimes. I hadn't had any experience of wireless dongles before and didn't know what to expect. When I was last paying my phone bill, one of the guys in the shop tried to sell a dongle on contract. It set me thinking. It'd be added to my monthly phone bill and has a bigger monthly allowance than 3 gave me. They'd give me 14 days to try it out so I thought I'd give it a shot.

I set it up last night and straight away it was quicker. So far so good. If it fails to please you'll hear about it, trust me. I haven't yet tested the speed by trying to stream any video but it handles online radio comfortably. Yay Meteor! Their phone service has it's little quirks but I'm happy with the internet they've sold me.

I saw it, I saw it!

It was few minutes to 8 yesterday morning, I guess, that I thought I saw it. Even in my slightly bleary condition (overslept and had to beg a lift in) something like a four-foot high Cornetto wasn't going to escape my attention.
Me: "That was a four-foot high Cornetto outside the garage!"
Polly: "What?"

There's probably a formal medical term for those whose fevered imagination leads them to hallucinate giant ice-creams (or dream of industrial-sized slabs of pâté, but that's another story). Of course, this isn't the kind of thing one can keep to oneself. I had, shall we say "mixed" reactions to the revelation, ranging from the fervent hope that it was an hallucination because it would be cool to see ice-cream that wasn't really there (working too hard, that one) to people edging nervously in the general direction of away.

By the time the end of the day rolled around I'd almost forgotten about it. Until we stopped at the garage for petrol. Even then I didn't spot it again until we were pulling away...
Me: "There! Look! Cone! STOP THE CAR!!"

It's obscurely comforting to know that it was really there. Now if only I had a real one like that...

Lost

I don't know how well this will format as I'm posting from my phone.

I've a laptop and a netbook in the house and can't make either of them work.

I feel rather lost and a little lonely. Can't wait for the morning.

A Sunny Sunday

I had one full day off at the weekend but travelling into work on Monday morning I felt as though I'd had a week or so off. The end of last week and the weekend were so full, so enjoyable that it felt like a holiday.

It was entirely down to the company I was in and the frame of mind that the company always brings on. Now that things are back to what currently passes for normal I wanted to share a few pictures of Sunday with you all.

We drove to Killarney, in Kerry. It's a beautiful part of a beautiful country. The first time we stopped the car, I got out to see this...

We drove for a while and then stopped for lunch at Muckross House...

...which is very pretty in itself...

After lunch I was taken to Ladies View. I'd heard of this before but didn't expect it to be quite so lovely, even in the early spring with very little green about. It was the second-most beautiful thing I saw all day...

I can't wait to go back again later in the year when everything is green and lush, maybe with a light rain falling.

I honestly had the most wonderful time, in delightful company and the years fell away from me to the extent that I just had to go climbing in the rocks...

...and have been standing on that rainbow ever since.

Guesting

I'm a staying with a friend for a few days. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement - it saves them being alone in their house and I get lifts to and from work, plus the pleasure of their company in their lovely house. I may never want to go back home!

The internet isn't terribly reliable where they live, though. The house isn't in the middle of nowhere but there are certainly signposts to it in the nearest village. hence my doubt in the previous post about the frequency of blogging for the next few days and the fact that I'm typing this at work.

It's been a funny day - the ups and downs haven't been on a far steeper curve than usual, although I must hasten to add that I've remained fairly stoical in the face of all of them. I'm facing the imposters with a steady gaze and asking both of them "WTF?"

And it's nearly time to go...with some remarkably good news to close the day here!

Just so's you know

Even though I have to be up at a quarter to five in the morning, I'm going to wait for the washing machine to finish. I can hear it on the spin cycle so it won't be long.

I wouldn't normally bother but there are some shirts that I want to put on to wash overnight so I can put them on to dry in the morning. Unless there's a last minute change of plans somewhere, I shall be away from the house for a few nights and will need a change or two of clothing.

There may or may not be blogging again before the weekend. There will be smiling and laughter, though.

Woken

It's very wild outside. Raining and extremely windy, if not cold. It's actually kind of nice laid here feeling proof against it all, even if it did wake me up. I don't think I'd been sleeping very heavily but as I'm up again I thought I pop in here as I've been a little remiss over the last few days.

Over the weekend I submitted the last two articles of my original comission of eight. Whether or not it'll go any further than that I don't know. I was notified to day of a short-story writing competition I may have ago at. 3000 words shouldn't be beyond me. It's just finding either something original or a sideways approach to something that's been done before. Hmmm...

What else? I spent Easter Monday in the company of the woman I love, which was very lovely. The whole day was a haze of lazing around and just enjoying each other's company. Magical.

This evening I've watched Transformers on TV, which was rather entertaining and then indulged myself with a couple of new purchases - re-issues of Heaven & Hell and Mob Rules by Black Sabbath. Both terrific albums and far better than anything they released with a certain Mr Osbourne as their "singer". 

And I suppose I should try to get back to sleep now.

Frozen Blossom

First it's snowing then it's sunny. Then it's snowing and then it's sunny again. One may never be 100% certain what's coming next but it's always going to be exhilarating, exciting, beautiful and irresistible.

Allegory? Never heard of it.

Glad of the electric blanket again at the moment. The weather has taken a distinctly chilly turn again and I fear for the blossom on the trees and the young buds. Spring will come again though, as surely as the world turns.

In lieu of sleep...

I can hear a couple of birds braving the wind and the rain outside.

If I can hear the Dawn Chorus, however muted and sleepy it is, then it's probably past time that I was asleep. Thank God I'm not at work tomorrow!

I've run through just about every option I can think of as I can't sleep, bar getting up and doing the washing up. Or going to the 24 hour Tesco, I suppose. Firing up the laptop and blogging is a last desperate attempt to stay in or near bed and hope that I may drop off soon. My eyes feel like they've been wearing shoes that are too tight. Does that make any sense? Vair tired now...

Superb!