The Effects Of Stress

These last 13 days are going to be stressful. I’ve not made any mention of the fact that I’m leaving yet, in an attempt to keep the stress levels down but people pick up on things.

I was speaking with a friend this morning who has two options for social engagements this evening should she choose to take either of them up. She kindly asked what my day held and for a moment the stifling of my life welled up over and I was filled with hopelessness. Yes, I could go out for a pint or two, if I chose, this evening. The Third Degree that I’d get when I got back combined with the barely concealed resentment that I’d gone in the first place would far outweigh the enjoyment of going, though, so it’s really not worth the grief.

On the subject of resentment, I in no way resent the fact that the friend in question, or indeed anybody, has a social life. Just because I don’t have a life at the moment is no reason that anyone else shouldn’t. I live vicariously through friends currently, both in their professional and social lives, so it’s nice to hear that someone is going to have a good time. It makes me happy that people I care for are happy. Should the friend in question read this, she is not to feel bad about mentioning her options nor responsible for any kind of impact on my mood. I am genuinely, genuinely happy that someone who works as hard as she does has the chances to unwind with her friends occasionally. She knows me well enough to know that that’s true but she also knows me well enough to have heard the almost imperceptible change in my voice and to have sussed that something was suddenly wrong.

It will also make me happy when I have a life again and my stress levels are reduced. My skin suffers enough in the heat without the added bonus of stress-induced problems. This…

is very, very itchy, despite any medications I have for it and is, frankly, driving me crazy. Or crazier than I am at the best of times.

Very soon, a large change is going to happen in my life and although I’m not blind to potential difficulties the outlook is going to be so much rosier than it is at the moment. I will have the opportunity to be myself again and, God help us, to be happy!

Hugs and kittens and rainbows

My move to a new place online is only part of it. I’ll be physically moving very soon to  a new place and a new life. The old life has been unhappy for years and my physical and mental health has been suffering because of it.

Despite that, I’d probably have slowly sunk out of trace under the weight of it all, had I not been re-energised, refreshed, renewed and reborn by a very, very special lady. I won’t embarrass her by naming her here (yet!), even under a nom d’amour but she knows who she is. Even though I’ve explained, I’m still not quite sure that she gets how much I owe her.

Maybe this will help.

Peculiarity

Mobile phones are a wonderful invention. Having said that, there are many, many times when they drive me completely leary!

I don’t mean other people using their phones where I can overhear what they’re saying – these things are mobile so they can be used anywhere. That’s not a problem.

No, what drives me mad is when they don’t work properly for me. If I’m speaking to someone stood in their kitchen, it really shouldn’t matter which direction they’re facing or whether they’re walking about or not. And how come if my voice is really clear and verging on too loud, that I can just barely hear what’s being said to me?

I’m not a fool. I know that it’s about network coverage and blackspots and weather conditions and landscape and stuff like that. This is just a bit of a rant. The fact that I can produce several good reasons why I can’t hear what’s being said to me doesn’t make it any less annoying or stop it stinging.

I believe that “Gah!” may be the word I’m looking for. Or possibly something less polite.

Er…hello!

So, yes. Welcome to the formal opening of Twirling In The Light. It’s still something of a work in progress but as part of my journey to new beginnings I felt that this was the time to close down my old blog and open this one up. It’s never been hidden but I’ve now actually told everybody where it is.

Welcome. Pull up a chair/table/rug/barrel/crate/bottle/musical instrument. Whatever takes your fancy. Apart from one thing – if your fancy is taken by your humble scribe, tough! Very taken, thank you. And very happy about it.

It’s something of a wrench to leave the old blog behind. I never expected to become so emotionally invested in it, as friends of mine have found when changing their online presence.

It’s also rather odd to be blogging under my real Christian name. My nickname is so distinctive that it’s far more anonymous to use “Greg” as there’s lots of Gregs out there. So with more anonymity than I had before, I hope to be able to blog freely without having to resort to too much self-censorship.

Welcome to the show……

The Ultimate Question

So if people are desperate, in these dodgy economic times, to be letting their flats and apartments, exactly why is it that I can’t get any of the bastards to answer their phones or reply to emails?