These last 13 days are going to be stressful. I’ve not made any mention of the fact that I’m leaving yet, in an attempt to keep the stress levels down but people pick up on things.
I was speaking with a friend this morning who has two options for social engagements this evening should she choose to take either of them up. She kindly asked what my day held and for a moment the stifling of my life welled up over and I was filled with hopelessness. Yes, I could go out for a pint or two, if I chose, this evening. The Third Degree that I’d get when I got back combined with the barely concealed resentment that I’d gone in the first place would far outweigh the enjoyment of going, though, so it’s really not worth the grief.
On the subject of resentment, I in no way resent the fact that the friend in question, or indeed anybody, has a social life. Just because I don’t have a life at the moment is no reason that anyone else shouldn’t. I live vicariously through friends currently, both in their professional and social lives, so it’s nice to hear that someone is going to have a good time. It makes me happy that people I care for are happy. Should the friend in question read this, she is not to feel bad about mentioning her options nor responsible for any kind of impact on my mood. I am genuinely, genuinely happy that someone who works as hard as she does has the chances to unwind with her friends occasionally. She knows me well enough to know that that’s true but she also knows me well enough to have heard the almost imperceptible change in my voice and to have sussed that something was suddenly wrong.
It will also make me happy when I have a life again and my stress levels are reduced. My skin suffers enough in the heat without the added bonus of stress-induced problems. This… 
is very, very itchy, despite any medications I have for it and is, frankly, driving me crazy. Or crazier than I am at the best of times.
Very soon, a large change is going to happen in my life and although I’m not blind to potential difficulties the outlook is going to be so much rosier than it is at the moment. I will have the opportunity to be myself again and, God help us, to be happy!
11 comments:
Owwww! That looks so sore. Poor, poor guy. Roll on 13 sleeps. Hugs and kisses.
Thank you, Poll. Itchy more than sore. Far less sore than stiches inside one's mouth, for example.
Roll on 13 sleeps, though. Completely. Hugs and kisses back.
wishing you strength for the next 13 days and strength for those that follow. . .
. . .and hoping that you keep strong, whatever is thrown your way
X
I'm anxious for you. I hope that the break won't be too difficult.
What they all said above. Think to the future and your happiness, god knows you deserve sweet pea.
What Z said.
Thinking of you and wishing you all the luck in the world...
What they all said, particularly Z.
Thinking about you right now.
Love you.
I hope you're keeping your head above water, dear Greg
XX
I had that kind of a rash on my hands when my oldest kids were little. I would dig and claw at it something crazy. I feel your pain.
I hope you are well.
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