Don’t Stop Believing

I must stop listening to so much online radio. It uses up my monthly bandwidth allowance at rather too quick a rate. Oh my God! I knew I wanted to type the word “rate” then but do you think that I could remember the spelling? I was sat here with my fingers poised above the keyboard thinking “r-e-i-…no that’s wrong. w-r-a…no, no.” I know that I’m not a young man anymore but I had hopes that what little there is left of the brain might last a bit longer.

So let’s see if I can’t grind out one more blog post before the dementia takes hold completely. I’m in a strange frame tonight. I haven’t been able to settle to any of the things I’d usual do to fill the hours. I can’t get comfortable to sit anywhere, books are either too heavy to hold comfortably or the edges of the pages are too sharp, with one or two burning exceptions the songs on the radio haven’t been anywhere near where I’ve felt and I’m a little wary of having too many programmes open on the laptop at once. I started off with the iPod in it’s dock but kept having to get up to skip track, which was winding me up even more. iTunes it then, and hang the consequences. Let’s see if the laptop will outlast my mind.

I was thinking earlier on that I’d kind of like to see a movie but if it annoyed me I’d just get up and walk out tonight, which would be a waste of money. I went for a short walk just after dark. Late twilight almost, just with a faint lightness in the sky before night’s gown fell completely. It seemed that the world was full of people, birds and animals scurrying around, trying to bring their days to a close before the darkness grew too heavy. The water of The Lough looked cold and thick, viscous, syrupy. I think I’m ready for Spring to be here. It’s been a cold winter and I’d like to see some flowers and feel the lightness of the morning sunshine on my face.

It’s not coming soon, though. According to the BBC we’re back to degrees below zero here in Cork for the next few nights, which will at least ensure that I’m fully awake by the time I get to work.

As usual, in the couple of hours it’s taken me to put this together while I’ve been drifting around the house, I’ve managed to take the edge off my mood with some music. Properly applied, there’s very little in this world like music. Across any century or genre, nothing moves the heart and stirs the soul like music. It’s one of the things I never want to have to live without. So I’ve gone back and changed the title of this post. I’ll never stop believing.