Walking The Walk

“At Christmas you tell the truth” someone once said. Telling the truth isn’t that hard if one picks and chooses the times. It’s even fairly easy to get by with “not lying” and just finessing what one says sufficiently to hide what’s really going on. Occasionally an outright lie may be called for.

If it’s someone who doesn’t know you well enough to detect the deception, then I suppose that’s all well and good. God knows I’ve done it. If it’s someone that knows you, really knows you, then they’re likely to know that they’re not being told the whole truth. They may choose to let it go, thinking that you have your reasons.

The hard part comes when someone one has sworn never to lie to, and who knows one well enough to detect a falsehood, asks a question the honest answer to which may hurt them.

I faced that today and told the truth. The truth is that life is hard sometimes. Having said that, I can expand on it.

Yes, I get lonely sometimes when the house is cold, empty and quiet. I struggle sometimes at work and feel an ache in my heart whenever anyone walks past me with a dog. I will never forget the look on my Elder Daughter’s face when I left and I’m sorry for the pain I caused other members of my family.

I wouldn’t undo any of it, though. Life is hard and not as long as we’d like. Since July I have had days the bliss and contentment of which far outweigh any darkness lurking. I have found that which I was always looking for, my heart’s ease and my constant joy.

That sounds a little “cheesy” even to me! Sorry, everyone.

It’s true though. If someday I may be called to account and asked to pay for what I’ve done, then so be it. Any choice, other than the one I made, would have left my heart and soul cold and dead within me. I chose life and light, laughing in the rain, kissing in the mist and the smartest, most delightful, witty, caring, beautiful woman that ever lived. I am hers for this life and beyond and she knows it. She is my dream, my hope, my inspiration and my spur. She’s my darlin’ girl and my Lady.

She’s probably embarrassed now, too! Back to more prosaic things, next post. Broken showers, payslips and the greatest invention ever…well…invented. And I don’t mean the wheel. Nor Jaffa Cakes!