Electrickery

There's something going on with the electrical appliances. Watch yourselves - their day may have come!

I could put the way my phone startled me down to circumstance. It very rarely rings. When it does ring it's usually my lovely Lady. This evening I'd just got out of her car and knew that she wouldn't be calling for 15 minutes or so. When the phone rang in my pocket I think I actually left the pavement! Accidental dial - she was trying to call someone else and accidentally pressed the "dial" button and called me. Stoopid phone.

When she rang me intentionally a little while later, I learned that their TV has lost it's picture. And this only a day after her laptop bit the dust. Hmmm. All coincidental, you may say. As my laptop has been acting the bollox anyway, then you could possibly stretch that point to include my first ever "blue screen of death". Fair enough. I've been running Windows PCs for years and this is the first time I've ever seen one.

It's surely not concidental, though, that further attempts were made on me when I got home. I went turn on the lights in the kitchen and was met with a BANG as one of the bulbs blew and threw the circuit breaker. Heart racing, I took out the bulb and reset the circuit. Then my shower unit steadfastly refused to switch on for a good 10 attempts.

There's something going on and it's more than mutiny. Rebellion is in the air, I tell you.

Back again

I should maybe be making more of an effort to blog regularly. In my defence, I've been filling another commission for articles for the website I sometimes write for. That's not much of an excuse because I've been leaving it until the last thing for the last two weeks to get the articles in just before the deadlines - I've had ideas brewing and initial drafts in process but it's been a rush to get the articles completed.

It's been kind of busy at work as well. Besides the hours-per-day, I've been keeping some anti-social hours to try to support a Lady who has been working horribly hard with very little acknowledgement. 

It's also been rather unpleasant here weather-wise. I have no problems at all with rain but the recent spell of hot, muggy weather has had me wilting completely. I'm exhausted through the days, battling headaches and sleeping less well than usual through the sticky nights. Seriously, though, how bad? I need to get over it and get on with things. There's worse things than the weather, right?

So I have this week off work, although I'll be popping in on Wednesday for another interview for an interim post and then off to see Deep Purple Live at the Marquee in Cork with my Lady. It's a little strange being off work. Since I started there I've had so little time off that I'm at a little bit of a loose end. Yes, I could take some day trips but I don't really want to be spending lots of money because I'm off work. I think it's maybe a week for just chilling and catching up on some reading and some housework and taking opportunities to see my lady whenever its convenient. It's nice not to be ruled by the clock for a week, though.

Vagueness

I tend to fight shy of blogging about work but here I sit blogging from work! I'm not being too much of a bad guy - I am now well outside my working hours and am just hanging around waiting for my lovely Lady and using the company's electricity rather than my own.

I'm not breaking too much of my self-imposed restriction when I say that I'm very excited about tomorrow as I have an interview for an interim post, doing more the sort of thing that I'd like to be doing. I'll keep you posted, albeit in a vague, cryptic manner.

For now, that is all...

And counting...

This won't be a long post as I've got to be up in just over 4 hours to go to work. Stupid boy to be up this late.

I've got to be honest, these 1-day weekends are starting to get a little old. I know that it's my own fault if I choose to work overtime but even so I think it's be nice to have a little time off. I know I've got some holidays coming up soon and it'll just be nice to have a few days off in a row.

That reminds me, I must try to "fine-tune" my holidays a little tomorrow. So I guess I should go to sleep.

Bank Holiday

It's been a Bank Holiday in Ireland today. Coupled with my having a day off work, it's made the day feel very like a Sunday so forgive me if I get confused about days, okay? I don't have a set theme in mind for this post so it might feel like a bunch of bullet point stiched together loosely.

Last week was (I nearly typed "this week has been") a very strange week in lots of ways. There were so many niggles and irritations going on that either my Lady or I were soothing one another's frayed nerves nearly every day. The weather was very hot and sultry too, which didn't make it any easier. I learned (or rediscovered) that even under the kind of stress that was going on I was more than capable of doing my job...and more. This bodes well for the future, more of which in a later entry, I hope.

I've been searching for somewhile for some free calendar software that meets my needs. I'd tried Outlook at home (works reasonably well but is too much or a resource hog - I don't need all those features), Thunderbird, with the "Lightning" calendar add-on (very disappointing - lots of issues with Thunderbird itself), Sunbird (which is effectively a stand-alone version of the aforementioned add-on) which is where I thought I'd settled but I've recently been very happy with the "ReminderFox" add-on for Firefox. I have it installed on Firefox both at home and at work, which is a good sign. I'll keep you posted.

I was supposed to be off work tomorrow as well but agreed to do a day's overtime. It'll help the old bank balance next month and it never hurts to show willing.

July will be a long month, I fear.

So if I'm at work tomorrow, I should go. I don't have to get up as early as I might, thanks to a beautiful lady offering to  pick me up but I do still have to remake the bed before I can climb into it.

Goodnight all.

Me 1 Monday 0

I've been sat here for most of the evening listening to the rain rumbling on the roof. After a few days of sunshine, someone has really decided to empty the watering can.

It's been an interesting day. For some reason I've been rather confrontational today. Not with any particular person, nor with people in general - more with the day itself. Quite why I decided that Monday might have it in for me, I don't know and it's certainly not like me to get my retaliation in first but that's how it happened. I got up, kind of launched myself at Monday and grabbed it by the throat.

Whether or not it was necessary, I'm not sure. Whether the day would have turned out any better or worse if I hadn't seen it as an adversary to be overcome, I don't know. It's some distance outside my usual perspective though and took a fair amount of energy to maintain.

So how do I meet Tuesday? Do I stroll up to it with a grin and offer it "five" or do I kick its lily-white ass as soon as I set eyes on it?

*sigh* Life is very confusing.

Event Horizon

So as it's now early Monday morning does this still count as the weekend?

I haven't forgotten about "Twirling" but I seem to have been crowded for time recently. I've been playing a fair amount of chess again, which can easily take up a whole evening if I get the right frame of mind. And of course, I've been spending as much time as possible with my lovely Lady.

Every time we have to go our own ways for a little while it gets a little more difficult. I think that we're getting closer to an Event Horizon; reaching Critical Mass. Every day is a day nearer being together all the time.

And today she bought me the coolest rainbow shoelaces!

Remember me?

Er...hello.

Sorry. It's been ages. And it's very late now.

I have two whole days off work at the weekend, so there'll be something here then, 'kay?

Promise.

Denial

I never have nightmares. Especially not the kind that wake me up in the dead of night, dry-mouthed, heart racing and screams echoing in my head.

So there's no need for me to have turned on the light and to be sat here cuddling a small, fluffy dinosaur, jumping at every car that drives by, flinching at every gust of wind, with the bitterness of unshed tears cluching at my throat with fingers as dry as the grave.

Just sayin'.

Ponderous

Over the years I've grown pretty good at hiding things. Personal things. Like when I've had my feelings hurt. I guess being shy and sensitive (and if anyone laughs I'm leaving) can only be hidden so much.

One person knows very well when there's something wrong. That sentence should probably start "only one person...". I've got very good at bottling stuff up and keeping a "shiny side out". It's the little stuff that creeps through - rudeness in those I wouldn't think it of; thoughtlessness; cliques; people who are the life and soul of the party with most people but make no effort to diguise their disdain for others, without getting to know them.

Of course, a solution to this would be to stop my mind from churning over things again and again. I used to be able to stop it with sizeable amounts of alcohol and the like but I'm getting too old for that shit now. Anything more than about 4 pints is going to leave me fit for absolutely nothing the following morning.

We all have our little psychoses to carry, I guess. Somedays theyre heavier than others. And with sharp edges.

The Sky's The Limit

It' getting kinda late but it struck me that I hadn't been around for a few days.

It's still a little bit up in the air as my manager is on holiday until Thursday but let's just say that the "issue" at work appears to have been sorted out. I needed to nail it and I did. Cometh the hour, cometh the man and all that jazz!

Hopefully things will now start to mellow out a little bit and I can start to properly kick some ass. It's comin', you mothers. Watch me fly...

Falling stars, shooting stars, seeing stars

I don't really know what I'm doing blogging tonight. There's something that's weighing really heavily on me but I can't mention it here. The only form of self-censorship I impose is about work so lets just say that I might be looking for "other opportunities" soon.

In complete contrast, a certain lovely Lady is doing very well and will be representing her company abroad, for three weeks, in a rather exotic location. I'm so proud of her I may actually burst. Yes, I'll miss her horribly but it's a good thing for her career and I'm sure she'll have a fabulous time. She deserves it.

Closer to home, I just gave my head a terrific crack on an overhang above the stairs. I'm seeing a few stars here so I'm going to close my eyes and see if they go away.

Sir Realism

I'm sat at work, waiting for my Lady. I've played on Facebook as much as I dare, considering it's strictly verboten and I'm kinda bored. I'm also feeling a little sick. This is about 50% being poorly and about 50% the day I've had. Ah well.

So I need to find a way to shake off these Friday blues and remember that I have the company of a beautiful, intelligent woman to look forward to and a day off work tomorrow. I'm not wasting any of this evening or tomorrow being miserable - Sunday will soon roll around and I'll have loads of time for that then.

Line in the Sand

There's a dead giveaway for when I'm under stress - my skin.

For the last three weeks I've been under threat at work. At the age of 44 if I get dismissed for failing to meet targets, for whatever reason, then things are not good. Notice the typical English flair for understatement there? I've ticked all the boxes for the last three weeks while my skin has got gradually drier, I've got steadily spottier and spent more and more time clawing at my hands and arms. 

No more. I am better than that and I have plans. This shit ends.

Because I will have it so.

Changes

Wow, I felt ill last night! As you know, my usual blogging time is last thing at night but there was no way I was going to try to sit up and type last night. I was convinced for a while I was coming down with the 'Flu. I was alternately cold and hot, I was shivery, dizzy, nauseous, the works. This after having a sore throat all day.

After a reasonably good night's sleep, I feel a little better - if forced to quantify it I'd say I'm about 70%, which will do for a Sunday. I'm taking it fairly easy with the housework as I need to well enough for work tomorrow, so I may draw the line at laundry and washing up.

What I do have, which is making me feel a little better, is a new internet connection. Up until now I've been using a pay-as-you-go wireless dongle from 3. It's been...okay. Not terribly quick and little flaky sometimes. I hadn't had any experience of wireless dongles before and didn't know what to expect. When I was last paying my phone bill, one of the guys in the shop tried to sell a dongle on contract. It set me thinking. It'd be added to my monthly phone bill and has a bigger monthly allowance than 3 gave me. They'd give me 14 days to try it out so I thought I'd give it a shot.

I set it up last night and straight away it was quicker. So far so good. If it fails to please you'll hear about it, trust me. I haven't yet tested the speed by trying to stream any video but it handles online radio comfortably. Yay Meteor! Their phone service has it's little quirks but I'm happy with the internet they've sold me.

I saw it, I saw it!

It was few minutes to 8 yesterday morning, I guess, that I thought I saw it. Even in my slightly bleary condition (overslept and had to beg a lift in) something like a four-foot high Cornetto wasn't going to escape my attention.
Me: "That was a four-foot high Cornetto outside the garage!"
Polly: "What?"

There's probably a formal medical term for those whose fevered imagination leads them to hallucinate giant ice-creams (or dream of industrial-sized slabs of pâté, but that's another story). Of course, this isn't the kind of thing one can keep to oneself. I had, shall we say "mixed" reactions to the revelation, ranging from the fervent hope that it was an hallucination because it would be cool to see ice-cream that wasn't really there (working too hard, that one) to people edging nervously in the general direction of away.

By the time the end of the day rolled around I'd almost forgotten about it. Until we stopped at the garage for petrol. Even then I didn't spot it again until we were pulling away...
Me: "There! Look! Cone! STOP THE CAR!!"

It's obscurely comforting to know that it was really there. Now if only I had a real one like that...

Lost

I don't know how well this will format as I'm posting from my phone.

I've a laptop and a netbook in the house and can't make either of them work.

I feel rather lost and a little lonely. Can't wait for the morning.

A Sunny Sunday

I had one full day off at the weekend but travelling into work on Monday morning I felt as though I'd had a week or so off. The end of last week and the weekend were so full, so enjoyable that it felt like a holiday.

It was entirely down to the company I was in and the frame of mind that the company always brings on. Now that things are back to what currently passes for normal I wanted to share a few pictures of Sunday with you all.

We drove to Killarney, in Kerry. It's a beautiful part of a beautiful country. The first time we stopped the car, I got out to see this...

We drove for a while and then stopped for lunch at Muckross House...

...which is very pretty in itself...

After lunch I was taken to Ladies View. I'd heard of this before but didn't expect it to be quite so lovely, even in the early spring with very little green about. It was the second-most beautiful thing I saw all day...

I can't wait to go back again later in the year when everything is green and lush, maybe with a light rain falling.

I honestly had the most wonderful time, in delightful company and the years fell away from me to the extent that I just had to go climbing in the rocks...

...and have been standing on that rainbow ever since.

Guesting

I'm a staying with a friend for a few days. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement - it saves them being alone in their house and I get lifts to and from work, plus the pleasure of their company in their lovely house. I may never want to go back home!

The internet isn't terribly reliable where they live, though. The house isn't in the middle of nowhere but there are certainly signposts to it in the nearest village. hence my doubt in the previous post about the frequency of blogging for the next few days and the fact that I'm typing this at work.

It's been a funny day - the ups and downs haven't been on a far steeper curve than usual, although I must hasten to add that I've remained fairly stoical in the face of all of them. I'm facing the imposters with a steady gaze and asking both of them "WTF?"

And it's nearly time to go...with some remarkably good news to close the day here!

Just so's you know

Even though I have to be up at a quarter to five in the morning, I'm going to wait for the washing machine to finish. I can hear it on the spin cycle so it won't be long.

I wouldn't normally bother but there are some shirts that I want to put on to wash overnight so I can put them on to dry in the morning. Unless there's a last minute change of plans somewhere, I shall be away from the house for a few nights and will need a change or two of clothing.

There may or may not be blogging again before the weekend. There will be smiling and laughter, though.

Woken

It's very wild outside. Raining and extremely windy, if not cold. It's actually kind of nice laid here feeling proof against it all, even if it did wake me up. I don't think I'd been sleeping very heavily but as I'm up again I thought I pop in here as I've been a little remiss over the last few days.

Over the weekend I submitted the last two articles of my original comission of eight. Whether or not it'll go any further than that I don't know. I was notified to day of a short-story writing competition I may have ago at. 3000 words shouldn't be beyond me. It's just finding either something original or a sideways approach to something that's been done before. Hmmm...

What else? I spent Easter Monday in the company of the woman I love, which was very lovely. The whole day was a haze of lazing around and just enjoying each other's company. Magical.

This evening I've watched Transformers on TV, which was rather entertaining and then indulged myself with a couple of new purchases - re-issues of Heaven & Hell and Mob Rules by Black Sabbath. Both terrific albums and far better than anything they released with a certain Mr Osbourne as their "singer". 

And I suppose I should try to get back to sleep now.

Frozen Blossom

First it's snowing then it's sunny. Then it's snowing and then it's sunny again. One may never be 100% certain what's coming next but it's always going to be exhilarating, exciting, beautiful and irresistible.

Allegory? Never heard of it.

Glad of the electric blanket again at the moment. The weather has taken a distinctly chilly turn again and I fear for the blossom on the trees and the young buds. Spring will come again though, as surely as the world turns.

In lieu of sleep...

I can hear a couple of birds braving the wind and the rain outside.

If I can hear the Dawn Chorus, however muted and sleepy it is, then it's probably past time that I was asleep. Thank God I'm not at work tomorrow!

I've run through just about every option I can think of as I can't sleep, bar getting up and doing the washing up. Or going to the 24 hour Tesco, I suppose. Firing up the laptop and blogging is a last desperate attempt to stay in or near bed and hope that I may drop off soon. My eyes feel like they've been wearing shoes that are too tight. Does that make any sense? Vair tired now...

Superb!

 

Swings and things

I'm meant to be working on my next two articles. To be frank, it's not happening tonight. I've started three separate drafts on three different topics and I'm not terrible happy with the way any of them are. I think I'll leave them for tonight and try again tomorrow. They don't have to be long pieces but I need to be happy with them, for a start.

It's been a funny day of wild swings in many things. It was a beautiful morning - driving in with my pretty Lady in the spring sunshine, marvelling at how quickly the daffodils had come on; rain this afternoon - if I hadn't got a lift home as well I'd have got very, very wet.

In between the two extremes of the Irish spring weather I got more than a little growly about a situation at work. Swing. This afternoon we had what are laughingly termed "system issues" at work. I picked on an effect this was having and spread the word. "Nice catch, Greg" was the Site Director's comment. Yay me!

My bed was soft and inviting when I got home about 5 o'clock. I didn't sleep heavily but dozed for about an hour, listening to the rain on the window and the roof again. Swing. It's now getting late and I'm wide awake. Typical.

Having had a full cooked lunch at work (nom), I wasn't particularly hungry this evening and just snacked a bit for dinner. Now, of course, I'm ravenous and am going to have to have a midnight snack.

I'm prepared to admit that I'm glad it's payday. I have a little money in savings but it's pleasantly squirrelled away and I don't really want to be raiding it. Living with monthly pay is an art form and I'm going to have to fine-tune my judgement on things, I think. It will only need to be fine-tuning as this month has gone fairly smoothly, finance-wise. Long may it last.

My year's lease of this house is up on july 1st and I've started having a look at what's out there to rent. I'm not even sure that I'll be moving on but there's no harm in looking. This is a nice little pad with the most wonderful bedroom but there is only the one bedroom. I rather think I'd like to be getting a house-sized house, just to cover any and all eventualities. Apart from anything else, I've suggested to lots of friends from the UK that they should holiday in Cork and it'd be nice to be able to offer them hopsitality rather than recommend a hotel! Who knows what use I might have for a couple of spare rooms one day?

Raining

I'm fairly easily distracted. Most often by shiny.

Tonight it wasn't shiny, it was the sound of rain on the window and the wind outside. Some people might not get this at all but I think that there's such music in the rain.

It was enough to stop me in the midst of writing and to lull me into a doze. So blame the rain for there not being more here tonight!

Sunny Sunday

It's been a few days since I've been here but I've been kinda busy and kinda battling a few odds. I had two more articles to finish before today. I lost one evening with the laptop playing up and then I lost a fair amount of writing time last night with my internet being down.

I got them done, though and submitted them on time. That's number 3 and number 4. That means 4 more to go and I already have an idea for 1 of them.

I'm laid here tonight listening to the wind howling outside and the rain pattering on the window. The walk to the bus in morning may be fun if this lot doesn't clear up. You wouldn't believe the difference from 12 hours ago. At eleven this morning (it's eleven at night as I type this sentence) I had walked into the city wearing sunglasses and smiling in the spring morning sunshine. I sat on a low wall drinking a cup of coffee waiting to meet my Lady and then went to the movies with her and her two youngest. Great fun. And then out for lunch afterwards. Lovely, lovely time.

I was reminiscing the other day. I can't remember what started it but a stream of memories came pouring out over the phone to my Polly. I have every intention of blogging them over the next few days. I'd have started tonight but I had such a magical day, I had to mention it. The sunshine, the clean smell of the river in the spring, the smiles, the laughter.

This was a good day.

Suppression

I had a post already written for tonight - it's actually saved as a draft as I sit here.

Circumstances changed, however and it's no longer relevant. So instead...tonight I went out to a Table Quiz in aid of charity. I found myself in the company of the loveliest, most delightful lady in the world and a young girl a long way from home. We were runners up. The people I met were very friendly and for the most part I had a fantastic time and laughed so hard I almost gagged a couple of times. If the answer to any question, the next time I go to a quiz, is "beaver" it may well kill me.

I say "for the most part" as I did find it difficult on a couple of occasions to stop myself from doing what's become the most natural thing in the world and reaching out across the table to take her hand. If I called her "darlin'" a couple of times I don't think anyone noticed. The quote is something like "Nothing can for long hide love where it exists" but tonight I managed to keep a lid on it. Just about.

Days

I've treated myself to a morning of doing very, very little. I work pretty hard when I'm "at work", especially if you factor in the hours I have to keep to catch the bus to work. So as I've got two days off today and tomorrow, I thought I'd chill for a while.

There's things that I need to get done - I could do with a few bits of shopping, I need to count up my change again and pay it into an account, I need to produce another two articles for publication before Sunday, I have housework that's waiting for me, the usual kind of thing.

I'm sat here with hair wet from the shower so I'm not going out for a while. Yes, it's quite a nice day for mid-March but it's a little chilly to be going out while wet of head.

So an early lunch, I think, while my hair dries and maybe put some washing on. A stroll to the bank and Tesco this afternoon and then start on the tidying up at whatever pace suits me. Sounds like a plan!

There was cake!

So since I was last here I'm a year older. I'm officially now in my mid-forties.

I had a lovely birthday, and the day after. It's also far too late at night for me to go into much detail about it now as I'm back to work in morning and have to be out of bed in less than 5 hours.

Laters...

Pretty Sky

...over the Business Park early in the morning.

Scary

I have a day off today. Yay! After this my next day off will be my 44th birthday.

I'm actually a little scared and it has nothing to do with the Eurosong Special I watched last night on RTE1. Can I write 8 articles of about 400 words each in 4 weeks? Do I have the invention to come up the articles and the organisational powers to meet the deadlines?

I think I probably do, yes.

My bad

I haven't posted here for a few days and feel bad about it. It's one of the things about blogging - it kind of gets a hold of you!

I have an excuse tonight, though. I made burritos for myself for dinner and may have gone a little overboard with the salsa. Consequently, I've been tipping cold drinks down my neck with abandon. And when I haven't been doing that I've been running to the bathroom to drain said fluids away.

Sigh. Some days are like that.

Words

So after two nights out in a row, I have no plans to leave the house now, before the morning when I go to work.

It's a little strange but I'm kind of lonely. I'm usually pretty content sat here with some music on, playing on Facebook when I'm not houseworking but tonight I've put a movie on for company.

It's probably being around people so much. It's a habit I could get into.

Of course, the above was written about four hours ago. I didn't go out and had two movies on, which is why it's taken me so long to write this.

In other news, there's a possibility I may be doing some freelance writing work, which would be very cool. And possibly a stepping stone to other writing work, who knows? That would be a dream...

And did you miss me, while you were looking for yourself out there?

Tempus

I can hear the rain rattling on the roof like a skeleton dancing a demented jig. I'm guessing that the wind is blowing "the other way", as I can't hear it against the window.

I can also hear raucous voices some way off, what sounds like next door running up and down their landing, and the clock ticking away to itself downstairs. I'd speed that one up, if I could.

I gave my word not to try to mess with passage of time and I'll stand by that. Sixty seconds will always go together to make up a minute, however long they take to roll by.  I'll relish the minutes and hours that pass by faster than a shadow, treasuring every breath that fills them. And I'll silently count away the morose, shuffling hours and days, watching with infinite patience the spectacle of the second hand dragging itself around and around.

I have seen the future and it is a wonderful place. Sometimes it seems so close. Other times, less so.

The Heart Of The Blog

*hack. cough. splutter*

Yeah, yeah. Just let me have a swig of the wine to wash that away.

I was looking back in the archives tonight. My first ever blog post was Halloween 2004. I never imagined what i might have started. I don't have a world-shattering blog and it's never going to be a source of financial income but I would be lost without it. First Solid Gone and now Twirling have given me somewhere where I could be more myself than anywhere else. My rules, my choice of topic.

A blog can be a lot of things, depending on the author. In it's most basic form it's just what it says on the tin - a web log, an online diary. The amount of anonymity you create around it is entirely up to you. I always found (and find!) it a delicate balancing act between making sure that people read it, if you want them to, and ensuring that those you don't want to don't read it.

Despite this, it can be a huge release, just having somewhere to pour things out, especially without directly burdening those that one loves. I can't imagine not having a blog, even if I'm not posting regularly at any given point. I remember blogging when I was at my lowest ebb, when it felt like it was my only escape. These days I tend to be so loved up that I almost feel obliged to provide free sick-buckets for my patient readers! The point is that I can say what I want, when I want.

I have a team night out to "look forward" to on Saturday. I rather doubt that I'll stay long but I'll pop along to be sociable. Who knows, I might even have a good time.

I have another early start in the morning. I might hope to sleep a little better than I did last night, when, for whatever reason, I couldn't get the brain to power down. Which is kind of ironic.

My arm is bothering me again. I noticed yesterday morning that I'd done something to it again. I have a heat-wrap that a lovely lady gave me, that I'll fit tomorrow once I get to work. If I try and do it before I go I'll only make a hash of it through rushing. 

And I just spotted a pack of biscuits...

Deep In The Night

...or at least early in the morning!

Just popped in to note that it's all in the choice of music. I had a shocking night and slept for maybe two and a half hours, tops. However, the right music on the iPod on the way in has given me a huge boost into the day.

Now, let's see how long it lasts...

Knot work

After the relative comfort and civility of not starting work until 9, I have to be at 7 in the morning again for the next three days for training. This means back getting up at an ungodly hour of the morning. To coin a phrase - Gah!

Today went reasonably well, considering my cold. I'll be honest and say that I felt very peculiar on occasions and the fact that our "floor" is a little uncomfortably warm at the best of times didn't really help. I'm not giving in to a fecking cold, though, so it can do its worst! I spent most of today more concerned with how someone else was getting on than with how my day was going, so that might have taken my mind off it.

I actually feel better at the moment than I have for most of the day. That's probably something to do with the fact that the most strenuous thing I've done in the last few hours has been to polish off the last of a tub of ice-cream. As much as I'd like to sit here listening to music and reading for a few hours, I guess I should try and get some sleep. I really need to win the lottery, you know. That reminds me - I was having a tidy up of some surface dross earlier and found two lottery tickets from a couple of months ago. They'll still be valid so I must remember to check them tomorrow. Yes, a few million quid would be nice but i think about €75,000 would do very nicely. It'd get two ships back on a very even keel and act as a stable springboard for the future.

Oh, how I love to mix metaphors! The English language is like a length of good rope - you can tie it up in some fantastic knots.

Poorly

I've had two days off sick and then a day off that was scheduled.

I don't mind telling you that I felt rotten for a couple of days with some kind of sickness bug and now appear to have a stinking cold. A cold is not reason enough to stay off, though, so it's back to work tomorrow. On a new shift, as well. Up until now my working days have been 7 - 3.45. We'll now rotate between that and 9 - 5.45 which at least means I don't have to get up at an obscene hour of the morning. I have decongestants and tissues - I'll be grand.

A certain lovely lady took very good care of me, including making sure I had DVDs to keep me amused. I gotta say, I thoroughly enjoyed Kung-Fu Panda but I wasn't that impressed with The Dark Knight. Maybe my tastes are changing as I get older. A lot of things change as the years go by but I've found something that will last forever.

I discovered something at work last week, or maybe the week before. I have loads of holiday to take before September. Some of it I hope to be able to spend with the aforementioned lovely lady. She's not going to be able spend every minute of my holidays with me though, which begs the question what to do with the rest of it. Living in a city with an airport, day-trips out of the country aren't impossible. Public transport means that day-trips within the country are possible. I wouldn't have a problem with doing either of these things by myself but for one thing. I still need to "settle my financial affairs" back in the UK. If I choose to spend weeks that I have as holiday just lounging around and enjoying not having to get up early, that will mean that I'm not spending money. If Polly is busy elsewhere then I have no-one to please but myself and the prospect of getting completely out of debt is very appealing.

And for tonight that is all. I have a bed that's far too big for one and a gap in my arms and heart tonight. Music and a book for an hour or so, I think. Or Facebook...

Subdued

It’s been a funny kind of day.

I was far too late to sleep last night and was in a complete daze when I got up. By the time I woke up enough to realise that I’d got to work, I was also awake enough to realise that I wasn’t in the happiest of moods. There was nothing specific I could pinpoint, I just wasn’t right. “Subdued” was the word I used at the time. I still don’t have a better word for it. It felt like the recollection of an upset which leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

It’d faded by lunch-time and I was able to find a semblance of my usual self. As the evening has worn on, that same slightly bitter taste has been creeping around again. Like a sulky dog, it’s prowling around almost out of my eye-line but I know it’s there. I can probably sleep it off.

Although plans have changed today and are still in a state of fluidity, I have high hopes for an enjoyable weekend. Which, let’s face it, isn’t far away now.

Taste

I had a meal in Burger King tonight, in the company of a lovely lady. Class, eh? Don’t knock it. Once the word “cheeseburger” cropped up in conversation, it was always going to happen.

I must take issue with them on their desserts, though. Does anyone else think it’s just plain wrong to put Toffee Sauce on Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream? On a Vanilla, with crumbled digestives – yes, but on a Strawberry Cheesecake? Oh, please!

I had a very peaceful afternoon after work, followed by a lovely evening. The expression “blissed out” springs immediately to mind.

I’d also like a new phone. Specifically, I’d like one of these, as this isn’t out over here yet. I am tied to my current phone for another 5 months though.

For now, sweet dreams.

St Valentine's

Words and Pictures

Blah!

I started a post here and then read it. Blah! Okay, so it’s not the most erudite self-criticism in the world but at least I’m prepared to hold my hands up to it when I’ve written something that’s crap.

Tomorrow is my Friday, if you get my drift. The last day of my working week. So Saturday = Friday. Good, I’m glad you’re coming with me on that. Working at the weekend has always had a different kind of “vibe” about it, no matter what job I’ve been doing. Remind me to talk about jobs one day.

So yes, vibes. Working weekends is a little like working night shifts. Everything seems subtly less formal, less pressurised. Of course, it isn’t at all. Any job will have similar demands whatever the day of the week, so maybe it’s just a state of mind. “It’s Saturday, so I really shouldn’t be working.” Something along those lines. I don’t know. I don’t even know where I’m going with this, so if you came with me I’m sorry.

I guess I’m getting tired. My eyes are feeling as dry as a desert wind. I’d like to see a desert one day. To watch the sun rising and colouring the world around me with kaleidoscope colours as it drags it’s sleepy way into the sky. There’s lots of beautiful places out there and I thank any God you like for the miracle of pictures so that I at least know that they’re there. Unless something extremely remarkable happens I’m going to see very few of them now. That’s not whining or feeling sorry for myself, it’s a calm acknowledgement of that which is. I’ve left a quiet yet indelible mark on a little corner of the world but I’m never going to look at my footprint in the Antarctic snow or watch the full moon rise from atop a Hawaiian volcano. It saddens me a little to know that, but the sadness is tempered by knowing that such things exist and that others have the pleasure of them. Some of these others are moved to words or to try to capture the images they see, and I thank them for that.

Don’t Stop Believing

I must stop listening to so much online radio. It uses up my monthly bandwidth allowance at rather too quick a rate. Oh my God! I knew I wanted to type the word “rate” then but do you think that I could remember the spelling? I was sat here with my fingers poised above the keyboard thinking “r-e-i-…no that’s wrong. w-r-a…no, no.” I know that I’m not a young man anymore but I had hopes that what little there is left of the brain might last a bit longer.

So let’s see if I can’t grind out one more blog post before the dementia takes hold completely. I’m in a strange frame tonight. I haven’t been able to settle to any of the things I’d usual do to fill the hours. I can’t get comfortable to sit anywhere, books are either too heavy to hold comfortably or the edges of the pages are too sharp, with one or two burning exceptions the songs on the radio haven’t been anywhere near where I’ve felt and I’m a little wary of having too many programmes open on the laptop at once. I started off with the iPod in it’s dock but kept having to get up to skip track, which was winding me up even more. iTunes it then, and hang the consequences. Let’s see if the laptop will outlast my mind.

I was thinking earlier on that I’d kind of like to see a movie but if it annoyed me I’d just get up and walk out tonight, which would be a waste of money. I went for a short walk just after dark. Late twilight almost, just with a faint lightness in the sky before night’s gown fell completely. It seemed that the world was full of people, birds and animals scurrying around, trying to bring their days to a close before the darkness grew too heavy. The water of The Lough looked cold and thick, viscous, syrupy. I think I’m ready for Spring to be here. It’s been a cold winter and I’d like to see some flowers and feel the lightness of the morning sunshine on my face.

It’s not coming soon, though. According to the BBC we’re back to degrees below zero here in Cork for the next few nights, which will at least ensure that I’m fully awake by the time I get to work.

As usual, in the couple of hours it’s taken me to put this together while I’ve been drifting around the house, I’ve managed to take the edge off my mood with some music. Properly applied, there’s very little in this world like music. Across any century or genre, nothing moves the heart and stirs the soul like music. It’s one of the things I never want to have to live without. So I’ve gone back and changed the title of this post. I’ll never stop believing.

King Meringue

I am determined not to lapse into negativity about the new Facebook layout. It may not be working perfectly at the moment but I'm sure that there is a team working on it right now. At least, there'd better be...

I've had a lovely day today, having spent the guts of it with the prettiest girl in the world. And on the subject of guts, having had a most palatable main course at lunch, we decided to check out the dessert menu. Like you would. What we didn't expect was the size of the portions...

...which this picture doesn't really make clear. It was a humungous plate of dessert! And when you bear in mind that this was just mine and Polly had something along the similar size!

So I'm back to work tomorrow. Tuesday to Saturday again, so it's a happy coincidence that my next day off is St Valentine's day.

"Back to work tomorrow" means an obscenely early start again, so I'm inclined to swap the washing over, have a quick supper (yep, still hungry - healthy appetite!) and turn in for the night. Sweet dreams everyone. Especially you. 5 sleeps!

Discharge Note

Okay, now that she’s back at home I can relax a little and look around at the rest of the world.

I’ve spent very little time in the house since Monday. Maybe popped in for a quick snack between work and the hospital and then a meal after visiting time and before bed. Someone has clearly been using the house, though, as the washing up has multiplied beyond belief. Do dirty dishes breed, does anyone know? I thought that the pixies came in and did housework not held riotous parties. Little bastards! I may have to blitz the house on Sunday, which is my next day off.

So as I’m working tomorrow I‘m going to miss the start of the 6 Nations rugby. I can probably catch the end of the Ireland game in the work canteen and may have to linger in the Airport hotel if they have England v. Wales on in their bar.

I met a rugby loving lady last night. Rather nerve-wracking, actually. You remember what it’s like meeting family of a loved one for the first time. Thankfully she was charming, delightful company, a trait that obviously runs in the family. She was also kind enough to give me a lift home from the hospital.

On the subject of the hospital, to close. When I was waiting for a good moment to leave I saw the effect that certain company has on certain people and didn’t like it one tiny, little bit.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Good Help

Sorry I haven’t been about too much so far this week. It’s been a little fraught.

My two closest companions are currently together. The small, cuddly dinosaur that I spend most of my time in the house talking to is with the person who is more dear to me than the rest of the world, in hospital.

Without going into unnecessary detail, I’m rather of the opinion that an issue which arose before Christmas was never adequately dealt with and has resurfaced. I know that she’s in the best place and that the best that Ireland can offer are looking after her but it was something of a shock to both of us when she was admitted.

So forgive me if I’m a little distracted, okay?

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. The rest of creation may have to manage without me for a bit while I concentrate on what really matters to me.

Don’t Stop Believing

Everybody should believe in something. I can’t help but regard Nihilism as one of the depressing philosophical tenets that I’ve ever heard of.

Having said that, there’ll be people who ask “So what do you believe in?” which I guess is a fair question.

Over my blogging life I’ve mentioned belief systems occasionally. I envy anyone who has a strong religious faith. Lives can be built on that kind of thing. Sadly lives can, and have been, destroyed on it too. I couldn't honestly call myself a religious man, even though I do have a spiritual side.

I guess I’m a mass of contradictions. I believe in the sanctity of all life but tend to support the death penalty and can’t ever imagine being a vegetarian. I believe that one should be as nice as one can possibly manage to everyone that one meets. If you really can’t stand someone then just keep out of their way or keep schtum!

There’s one thing above all else that I believe in – love. Call me an old hippie if you wish, or a hopeless romantic. God knows it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called either of those things. I believe that in this big beautiful world there is someone for everyone. Some people, probably not all, have someone that they’re meant to be with. Someone that they were born to love and born to be with. And with all my heart I believe that I’ve found that person.

I also believe that my bloody shoulder hurts. Enough with the typing, already!

It’s very late but…

• I’m not as unhappy as I was in the last entry
• My arm hurts
• Time for sleeps.

Just a passing phase

Not even sure about posting this. The first five words are clearly bullshit or I wouldn’t have come back to the start to add this and seriously consider deleting the lot. Anyway…

I don’t mind telling you I was in foul mood when I got home this afternoon.

I’m not sure what happened. Work went reasonably well again, I think and I was happy enough when I came out of there. I went to arrange something for my Lady and I and then headed for the Airport to wait for my bus.

At some point between making the arrangements and getting on the bus, something almost crumbled. I turned my iPod on and gazed dully out of the window all the way into the city. It was cold and foggy when I got off the bus. Normally I like the fog, sensing the mysterious, almost ethereal quality it can bring. Today it just made me miserable. Every step up the hill I have to walk up was harder than the one before, my legs heavier.

I walked through the door at about 6 this evening, I think. A long day. I walked off a cold, foggy street into a cold, dark house. For a few minutes I wandered around it, not taking my coat off and leaving the music raging in my ears. I leaned against an ugly, veneered chipboard wall…thing and closed my eyes, feeling the prickle of tears behind them.

Nothing was different at the house from other days, I don’t know what happened or why. Let’s just put it down to a long day and not enough sleep. I’m usually fairly stoical (“very zen” I was told last week!) but this evening when I walked in it was too much. Thinking about it, the tears had been brewing for some time. Maybe it was only when I got in the safety of my home that I could let them go.

I didn’t make me feel any better, though. I sullenly made myself a coffee and trudged upstairs to heat the most easily heated room in the house. I may have dozed for a while before rousing myself to do what needed to be done – food, laundry, washing up, hoovering, you know the routine, I’m sure.

I’m still not right. I have this sour taste in my mouth and a feeling like I’m constantly on the verge of hiccoughing! Tomorrow, though, is another day, as a lady once said in the movies. I’ll be grand, as the locals say! Once the tumble drier has finished and I’ve remade the bed, I shall turn in and hope for better tomorrow. Waking up and reaching to pull myself up by my bootstraps is something I can do. It’s only just struck me that it was Sunday today and I that I have something of “a history” with Sundays recently.

Kindling Zen

I’ve spent most of this evening trawling the internet for a certain quote from a certain book. Oh, and Pepe Le Pew pictures. There’s a fundamental dichotomy at work, if I ever saw one.

I had something of an epiphany at work today. Those of the team who were taken on on temporary contracts finish at the end of the month. One of them has booked up holidays and finished already. It gave me a bit of a start, to be honest. There but for the grace of God etc.

Upwards of 20 years ago, I read Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance. At the time I was working for Bespak and still trying to climb the slippery pole. The book had some very interesting musings on “Quality” (and I capitalise that word advisedly, in this context), a word which the author, Robert M. Pirsig, deems to be undefinable.

The quote I was looking for refers to Quality in the workplace. Not just doing a good job but the state of mind both required to do a good job and the state of mind induced by doing a good job. To horribly simplify it, the quote is about trying to find a way to enjoy whatever your job is, no matter how humdrum, at least in part. About finding the quiet satisfaction in a job well done and the way that can spread. I think I might have at least touched a little of that recently. No, I don’t enjoy the hours that I’m required to keep at the moment but I was out of the job market for a long time and one has to start somewhere. I been able to focus on what I’m doing for a living – not for the sake of a living but for the sake of what it is.

Does that make any kind of sense? I wish I could find the quote I want but the book, like a lot of my books, it’s back in the UK. I may have to pop in the library on Monday.

Rain Song

Naturally, the weather turns on me after blessing me with spring sunshine at lunch time yesterday and today we're back to rain - on my day off. And yes, I know that it rains a lot here but on my day off when I have shopping to do? Cut me just a little slack here.

So I've done nothing today. Productivity I have postponed until tomorrow. I've lazed around like a contented dog and spent the day just resting. I've spent a lot of time gazing out of the window at the rain. Rain is fascinating. I had the house in silence just listening to the rhythm of it on the roof and against the window. Hypnotic. The house has stayed proof against it today as well, which is probably why I can sit here now and wax slightly lyrical about it!

The rain has never bothered me the way it does some people. Regular readers will now that I'd far rather it was raining than blazing 30 degree sunshine! There's something about the rain - it has different moods. It can be whipped into a raging frenzy at the urging of the wind but if left to it's own devices can be calming and restful. Sometimes it feels like the heavens weeping, overflowing with pain and remorse for the woes of the world, at other times it's joyful, almost playful, refreshing and exhilarating.

I find myself in a country that, from my own observation and in the opinion of the Lady I came here for, tends to show it's best when not dazzled by the sunlight. Yes, places will look pretty in a spring morning - nearly anywhere will. The rich greens of Ireland are better experienced in a mist or a light drizzle though. Or at least with enough cloud cover that the sun isn't aggressive. Maybe that's one of the reasons I feel so at home here. The country and I aren't used to the sunshine and although we can cope with it for a little while we only really come out of ourselves when the yellow face has gone away.

Blogging this from my netbook, which I've been using for the last hour or so, while the laptop cools down. A job for tomorrow is to try and find a computer repair shop and see how much they'd charge me to look at it. Yes, it'll be money I can ill afford but if they can cure it's ills it'll cost me a lot less than driving the poor beast to it's death and then trying to replace it!

Airport Hill

My right shoulder hurts. Just thought I’d mention that. What an ice-breaker, eh?

It’s very late and it’s midweek. It’s very quiet. Very quiet. Even the local students and noisy neighbours have turned in for the night, I think.

I’m on the point of turning out the light myself. I shall pull the duvet up to my chin and snuggle down into cool pillows. I’m not sure why I felt the need to share that. I know that not everyone will be as warm and comfortable as I tonight, nor as contented. I can hear a car in the distance, the night air caressing the sound into a low purr like a happy cat.

I won’t be climbing Airport Hill tomorrow, not on foot, in a bus nor in a car. I have a day off work. Yet there’ll be a lot of me there, somehow. I’ve become as wrapped up in my current place of employment as ever I was in Bespak when I worked there. I may not end my working life where I am now, or, as I’m in my mid-forties I may not have the choice and may have to sweat it out to make some kind of a retirement possible.

I’m employed, though. Full-time and permanent, even though I’m currently only a junior member of staff. I have an income and one more place to belong.

Parts of me will be climbing Airport Hill tomorrow. Travelling in a car with a pretty lady will be my heart mind and soul, all of which she has in her keeping. There’s not a better place anywhere on this green earth nor in the heavens above it that I could stow them.

From the bedroom window I can see the lights on Airport Hill. The traffic snaking up and down. The garish glow of the streetlights. It looks so close. Many things look close tonight. Sleep not the least.

Not asleep

Something woke me with a start at 4 this morning and I didn’t go back to sleep. I stayed snuggled in the warmth before getting up in time to have a coffee before setting off for the bus whereas the mornings are usually a tearing hurry to get around and out of the house. Nice? I suppose but I’m kind of curious what it was that woke me.

The weather was fairly calm last night – one of those clear, still winter nights although not as cold as we have had. I wonder whether it was a dream; whether whatever my subconscious was up to was too fragile to hold for long. I certainly didn’t wake feeling anxious or distressed like I have after a bad dream. Thinking back on it now, I have no recollection of any dream but I remember being peaceful. I didn’t “jump awake” or startle at all. I was just very, very awake all of a sudden. Content and settled but wide awake. I would usually go back to sleep but didn’t this morning. Strange.

There have been plans afoot today for a little time away. Finances and circumstances dictate that it’s unlikely to be for more than a long weekend and it won’t be overseas at all, unless something out of the ordinary happens but it’ll be nice to be “away” together. To be able to relax in each other’s company without wondering who might be about to walk around the corner.

I think that’s it for this evening. My typing is even less accurate than usual, which is probably a symptom of barely recognised tiredness. I bid you all a restful night.

Monday, Monday

Maybe I should try blogging earlier in the evening. I don’t know what to type.

I have this strange compulsion to write at the moment. Not necessarily “write” with a pen or pencil. Typing will do. A compulsion to create with words. Hence the rush of blog entries, I guess. For the last couple of months I’ve been running at very nearly one a day.

Some of these have been mind-numbingly crap, I’ll hold my hands up to that one. others have been only a few lines. I think it’s a symptom, though. I think there’s something bubbling away just under the surface that’s only waiting a chance to get out. I don’t think these daily outpourings are serving to alleviate the pressure, it’s more like my trying to find a way to let it out. I don’t know.

It’s very late now. I’m going to draw a line under today before it seeps into tomorrow. I’ve founds parts of today quite difficult to cope with, so I’m hoping that Tuesday won’t turn it’s back on me.

Forever

Not my words, but too beautiful a song not to share somehow. If only I could find a way to get the music on here.

Forever…

Sleeping in, in case I miss you
Dreaming takes me right there to you
Quilt of silver golden thread
Your face is shining in my head
  
Waking up I see you slipping
Don't disappear, quench your thirst there
Ace of hearts, stolen diamond
Skylark singing, church bells chiming
  
The sudden sight of you is pleasing
It's only perfect things we're seeking
My heart's awake, my fear is sleeping
You are forever keeping
  
Forever, Forever
  
My mood is cracked, I start to tremble
Splintered tears to re-assemble
I'm not able to express it
But I'm sure that I will get it
  
Lazy is the sleepy summer
I melt myself and drip upon her
Now we're liquid mixed together
Oh we can last forever
  
Forever, forever
  
I am focusing my actions
Pressing on with this attraction
If arrows fly then I will catch them
  
Oh it's you forever good time 

The Kindlestick and the Fox

One of the rules I set myself when I started work again was that  wasn’t going to blog about it. At all, beyond mentioning that I’d started and I seem to recall once saying where.

This tends to pose a problem. I don’t do much else but go out to work at the moment, money being a little tight. I can live with that, though. Over my blogging life I’ve got used to “making shit up” or just waffling inanely. What amazes me is that people still come to read it. It can’t just be one or two of you making the counter click over like that. Thank you all.

The thing is, something quite amusing happened today and I’d love to mention it here. But I’m not going to, especially after recent events. Oh well.

First thing this morning I was walking from the airport, through the business park on my way into work. There’s an abundance of bunnies around the business park at all times of the day and night, and of the year too. They always bring a smile to my face and, for rabbits, they’re reasonably tolerant of people.

One morning some time ago I saw something kind of dog sized and shaped and was convinced that it was a fox. Far from impossible as there’s a lot of farm-land around. This morning I was left with no doubt at all as a fox trotted out of the darkness and stopped, looking at me. I stopped and looked back. Then said “hello”. It was no more than 10 feet away from me, about as far as from where I’m sitting to the wardrobe.

I figured that as soon as I acknowledged it’s presence at all it’d be off like a furry bullet from a gun but it didn’t seem that bothered. It glanced around, not nervously, then looked back at me.

“Good morning.” said I, remembering my manners. “May I have a photograph, please?”

As I didn’t get a reply in the negative, I fumbled in my pocket for my phone. The fox stood calmly watching me, brush straight out behind. In something of a dream I aimed the camera and pressed to focus. Maybe the light of the auto-focus wasn’t to the fox’s liking. It didn’t dart away into the early morning darkness, though. With a almost bored shake of the head, it quietly trotted into the shadows. The photo I took didn’t even show a brush fading into into the distance. Nothing but an early morning view of a bush with a building in the background.

This time though, I know I saw a fox.

Poorly

I've not felt well at all today. I woke up with a headache that is only now beginning to fade slightly, I've been nauseous, dizzy and just generally bleugh!It's felt like a raging hangover but I promise you not a drop has passed my lips for ages. Weeks, if I remember rightly.

I've also been looking at photographs from a year ago. There'll come a day when I can maybe post some of them here, but not yet.

It would have been nice to have felt a little better on my day off but these things can't be helped. Of more concern to me is the state of health of my laptop. I'm writing this on my small, pink netbook as the laptop is having serious issues tonight. I don't want to have to be trying to find money to get it looked at but there's only so much I can do with this little pink beauty. The trouble is that my laptop is my single biggest support, apart from Polly. It's a radio, a DVD player, my link to my friends in the outside world. It's been suggested that it's an issue with the fan, causing it to shut down to avoid overheating. I may have to pool opinions on a good computer repairer in Cork and see whether I can get a quote for having it looked at. Gah!

So I'm sat here with a packet of custard creams and a glass of juice, wondering how late I can get away with staying up so I've done something with my day rather than mope around. Not much longer probably. Sweet dreams everyone.

Can’t think of a title…

It’s been a pretty good couple of days. I’ve had the opportunity to listen to an awful lot of music and had a fairly relaxing time at work while getting a lot done.

Isn’t it nice when you meet people in the flesh for the first time and they’re as pleasant as you hope? There’ve been a crowd from a site that the company has in Europe over this week. Polly and I had the opportunity to go for a coffee with a young lady who I’d chatted with over the internet and very briefly over the phone. Charming girl. Even if she did make me jump like hell the first time we met!

The reason I’m thinking of the first time I’ve met people is that January 16th is a certain anniversary. A day when, stood in a hotel lobby, I turned around and saw my future.

It’s completely hurling it down with rain outside. The change in the last few days is startling. From snow, to serious frosts (including one rather hairy walk in the morning. The airport, where I get of the bus is about 10 minutes walk to/from work. It took me nearly half an hour one morning, due to black ice everywhere. I wondered at one point if I might have to sit down and wait for it to thaw – it was that hard to walk on!) to almost torrential rain and high winds. And the temperature has been up in double figures tonight. Outrageous.

I have a day off tomorrow. I have no plans, beyond a little food shopping. Roll on payday!

You won’t feel the steel…

…until it’s hanging out your back.

Labouring this point isn’t going to do anyone any good but…be careful what you put your name to online. Someone very, very dear to me has been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust and is now having an online posting used against them in their place of work.

It’s probably a good thing that I’m not 100% certain who it was. It’s definitely a good thing that I’m not 100% certain who it was. At the moment.

Relatively early

Before it gets too late tonight…

Firstly, there’s something that I intend not to address beyond the rather cryptic “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Play the game!

So okay, yes, snow. I got down into the city and the buses were running. All good there. My  lovely Lady braved the roads and made it work after what’s usually about a 40 minute drive, taking it easy, turned into a 2 hour one due to the weather. While the city is thawing the countryside out where she lives isn’t and is in the grip of freezing fog. Much as I’d like to see her tomorrow I’d be happier if she didn’t try it again until the roads have cleared a little.

My cash-flow problem should ease a little in the near future. I remembered that there’s another €50 in a savings accounts, that’ll go a long way to next payday and keep me online as well!

I get easily distracted by books, music, my mobile and snacking. It’s now late! Sweet dreams.

Coupla things…

Not much to say tonight. It’s cold and it snowed. I’m reliably informed (Facebook!) that there’s a thaw going on in the city centre.

This is what one might term a “double-edged sword”. Yes, if it thaws then I’ll be able to get in comfortably, as will Polly on her first day back. We kind of had visions of her becoming “stranded” in the city, “not being able” to get home and “having to stay over at a friend’s”. Ah well.

There’s something restful about snowfall. I went and wandered around in it for a while at break today. It seems to muffle a lot of sound and produce a feeling of stillness, unless it’s a complete blizzard, of course.

I wish I had some biscuits.

I wish I had some ice-cream too.

I have cramp in my foot and my pillow is calling. Goodnight everyone.

Hey Jude

There’s snow on the way apparently. I just got up and had a peer out of the window but no, it’s not here yet. There’s the very sharp frost that I’m kinda getting used to but no sign of the snow yet.

I know that most of the UK has has a swathe of snow and much of the northern part of Ireland has too, I hear. It’s coming. It could make for some fun and games getting to work. I have a walk of about 20 minutes (depending on how icy the pavements are) to get to the bus stop I need and then about a 20 minute ride to the business park. There’s been morning when very few of us have made it in. The roads around here have been so icy for so long that some of them are next to impassable. A few inches of snow on top of that is going to be great fun.

Of course, every cloud has a silver lining. Polly may just make it into work and then not be able to get home again, which would necessitate her staying in the city somewhere…

I had a Judie Tzuke night tonight, after buying an album of hers on iTunes with a voucher I was given at Christmas. Judie really should have been far more well-known in my humble opinion. A beautiful, distinctive voice and  a very varied output. Maybe that was the catch – she can’t really be pinned down to any particular genre and the music press do like to pigeonhole people, while we all know that the only thing that fits in a pigeonhole is a pigeon!

I’ve been searching the internet for a clip (video preferably but sound-only would do) of “Let Me Be The Pearl” which is one of my favourites of hers. As yet, I can’t find one. And it’s getting late. I have a craving for something sweet. My cupboard stocks are a little limited at the moment, so we’re either talking honey or cereal with sugar sprinkled on. Neither of these are compatible with a laptop computer!

Sé Mhí

Six months ago this happened…

and I walked into the arrivals lounge at Cork Airport.

Six months to the day since I first set foot in this little house. knowing that I’d be able to see Polly nearly every day.

Since that day I have a job, a few people I’d consider friends, my beard back again and a bunch of memories. Most of the memories are very good ones. I won’t lie to any of you, there have been dark times when I’ve been cold and lonely – not necessarily sat in the house, either. There are few lonelier places than a city where you don’t know anyone.

As I said, it’s been mostly good, though. A learning experience. Learning the differences between English and Irish culture, some fascinating snippets of colloquial language, learning about how Polly and I would make “us” work on a day-to-day basis and, more than anything else, learning about myself. Re-learning maybe. Unforgetting, even.

Throughout it all, there’s been a constant. Every single day I’ve felt the support of a very special lady. If she couldn’t be with me in person then she’s only been as far away as a phone or a computer. Everything that I’ve managed has been easier because of her. Never was a man so taken care of.

And as I have to get up in a very few hours, for tonight, that’s better be all. Sweet dreams.

Upstairs

It's got so cold over here that I've taken just trying to heat the one room. Downstairs has stone floors and tiles throughout which make it very chilly. The bedroom here is the warmest and best-lit room in the house so I've moved up here for the duration, only venturing down when necessary.

'Twas lovely to have company too, today. My darling girl popped round for a few hours. It was the first time we'd been together since before Christmas and it was so nice to see her and to catch up a little.

We always seem to have more to talk about than we can actually fit in the time we have so we're always left with a touch of "oh rats, I meant to say so-and-so". We have the rest of our lives to talk about whatever we want though and never have to worry about not saying things. Once you've found your forever, nevers don't matter.

I have something of an anniversary tomorrow, which I shall mention here. There's actually another anniversary 8 days after that, which I may well mention too.

For now, I have nothing really to say, I just had the urge to blog. Just checking in really. "Twirling" is important to me, not only as a source of news for my friends but as somewhere I can go to say whatever I want. If I'm feeling happy or sad or whatever, it's likely to be recorded here. And on that note, I'll bid you all a very goodnight.

Freeze

On January 1st the Irish Government passed into law the Defamation Act of which part is concerned with blasphemy.

“It defines blasphemy as publishing or uttering matter grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby intentionally causing outrage among a substantial number of adherents of that religion, and intending by such publication to cause such outrage.”

and is punishable by a fine of up to €25,000. So watch this space!

Not that I’ve got €25,000, of course. I actually have the princely sum of –€65 to see me until the end of the month. So it’s off to the bank within the next couple of days to offer up my soul. Or, if they’d prefer, I could round up a few children for them.

So, it’s cold. In fact it’s seriously minus degrees at night and barely scraping above melting point during the day. This is a far from ideal situation when the plumbing of the house in which one is living has certain idiosyncrasies – like the feed pipe for the shower from the cold water tank running outside the house. See where I’m going with this? Luckily there’s a shower room at work. Must take towels tomorrow…

I haven’t quite managed to slip over on ice again. It’s come to the flailing of arms and blaspheming on more than one occasion but I’ve managed to stay upright. Fnarr!

And for now, I guess, that is all. Roll on Thursday.

Retrospective

2009? I left an old life to start a new one.

That kind of outweighs the rest. It was the year when  first took the hand of the woman I was born to love and when I discovered, against all expectations, that I was employable and could actually make a pretty good fist of it.

And when I realised if I was tired, I could go to bed!